What's your biggest, best, funniest most bone-headed move related to your car?

[MOPARMAGA]

When I was 12 and tall enough to see over the steering wheel in the 78 Monte Carlo I told my mom I wanted to drive, so she let me drive.
I thought R was for run.
I backed into an old man that was behind us.
He came up and laughed, said take it easy young man lol

 

[MOPARMAGA]

Same premise as the Ford truck story this time a 430 Lincoln it was 20 years earlier... same **** but I was high from freebasing cocaine.
When I lit the torch to clean the valley all the lifters blew out. Oops

 

[WV64Signet]

It starts with "Since I'm in here"....

 

[MOPARMAGA]

I put on a mechanical secondary 850 on my charger, didn't check the linkage 1st but I flooded it right when I got onto the main Street. The 4 barrel was wide open and I was approaching an intersection rapidly, luckily I threw it on neutral got out off the car, quickly got the throttle unstuck and then my radiator blew up on me. I'm looking to use my brain more with my dart and should be a bit over 700 hp.

 

[MOPARMAGA]

Oh and I was trying to move my dart & wasn't thinking and dumped it on its side a couple summers ago.

better to be lucky than good in my case.

 

[Newbomb Turk]

A friend asked me to help him tune his chassis at the track. I said you pay my way in, buy me dinner and YOU do the adjustments and we got a deal.

He said how about we pay your buddy to do the work. I said fine. I’ll have him meet us at the track. He will do the work for the same deal.

We gut there and he’s rolling the car out of the box. There is a piece of red paper taped to the windshield. I’m thinking WTF is this?

He says I changed the oil and filter but didn’t have the time to put the oil in it. I’m thinking we’re off to a shaky start.

I tell the worker bee (my other friend) to grab the engine oil out of the trailer and put 7 quarts in it and check the dip stick. It should hold 8 quarts. SNEAK UP ON IT I SAY.

I go on to looking at his previous time slips and his tune up and I hear the worker bee bitching because there is oil coming out of the dip stick tube and running on the ground. And he only has 6 quarts in it.

I’m thinking I made a bad decision and I should have just went to the titty bar and did shots of Wild Turkey all night.

So I walk over there and sure enough, 6 empty quart bottles sitting there. I look at the dip stick and I’m thinking the dip stick is still in the engine.

We are pitted in the grass so I look on the ground at the front of the engine and I don’t see the oil on the ground.

As I’m getting up my eye catches a HUGE puddle of oil by the back of the engine.

Now I’m stumped. So I say hey John, how is the oil coming out of the dip stick at the front of the engine and it’s in a puddle at the REAR of the engine??

He says hey dumb ***, your looking at the wrong dip stick. That was the oh **** moment.

He was adding the engine oil to the transmission and it filled up and ran out of the dip stick tube.

So I said hey moron, why are you adding engine oil to the transmission???

By now, the owner of the car catches wind of the running **** show and he starts laughing his *** off. Tears running down his face laughing. I said let me in on the joke because it’s going over my head.

So before we even get the engine lit off and warmed up I have to make a run to the parts store to get some ATF, trans filter, a pan gasket and some engine oil.

While I’m gone John has to drain the transmission and get things ready to go back together.

It was a quick night with one time run and an unbelievably horrible first round draw. He drew the Shredder. And he got shredded.

The crazy thing is John was a really good mechanic. I don’t know if he was up drinking and doing blow the whole night before or if his brain just got locked in on full idiot.

We both got dinner though.

Both those guys are dead now. They were good guys.

 

[abdywgn]

PO of my then Dart had painted the engine compartment with a touch up gun. it was the best part of the whole car. brake lines had been removed at this point but the master was back on and attached. somehow, the brake pedal got touched and squirted fluid onto the fairly fresh paint. primer held up fine, paint didn't

 

[Big_John]

Many, many years ago, I had freshened the engine in my Roadrunner drag car. Got it all back in, headers and everything. Then I slid under to bolt the convertor up and realized the convertor was still sitting next to the bench and the bellhousing was empty.

 

[missing linc]

I've done my share of dumb things with cars over the years, including putting the jack through a tail light when the car rolled forward because I didn't block the front wheels. Most recently when I was assembling a 360 for my 75 Dart Sport I installed the new timing chain incorrectly. I was thinking small block Ford alignment, (had just done one a few months earlier), instead of small block Mopar. Surprisingly the engine did run, not very well, but it did run.
I went through the distributor alignment multiple times, rechecked the firing order multiple times, changed the carburetor and fuel pump, replaced the distributor and ignition module, coil, pickup, cap, rotor, etc. multiple times, even swapped out the torque convertor, refusing to believe that I fucked up the timing chain alignment. Finally after about 2 months of frustration with this engine I finally pulled the front cover. Yep, I had installed the chain wrong.
It ran much better after I corrected it, but never had the power that I expected when compared to my previous 360 Dart.

 

[missing linc]

On another '360 note'.
Way back in the early 80s, my buddy had a 69 Dart GTS that he'd bought as a roller and dropped a 318 in it as he needed a driver and wasn't concerned about it being anything else. He eventually totalled it, but bought another 69 Dart and we swapped everything over to it. He got a freshly built 360 for it and we put that motor in one night. What we didn't know about was the balance of the torque convertor. That car went like a bat out of hell, but would almost shake the fillings out of your teeth. He got pissed off, packed every single Mopar part he owned into it, and sold it all for $500.00.

 

[Newbomb Turk]

Many, many years ago, I had freshened the engine in my Roadrunner drag car. Got it all back in, headers and everything. Then I slid under to bolt the convertor up and realized the convertor was still sitting next to the bench and the bellhousing was empty.

Lol that’s a CLASSIC!

 

[Dutchrebuild]

After tuning up my 64 300, I somehow installed the wires 180 out on the distributor.... Car kinda tried to start, so I kept pumping the gas pedal and cranking. The muffler explosion that followed was like a 10ga shotgun going off in the garage. To this day there is probably shrapnel laying around in the shop. Scared the **** out of me

 

[tinman2]

This wasn't something I did. In 1980, I was hauling pianos driving a Peterbilt that was from a truck leasing company. I took the truck in for service and they used a speed balancer to balance front tires while on the truck. He heard a noise and said you have a bad wheel bearing. So he took it apart and installed a new bearing.
Then I headed out for the west coast. I stopped in Knoxville and heard a noise from the front of the truck. Obviously something wrong in that same wheel. Took it to a truck garage. The new bearing had failed. Had it replaced and made it to Arkansas before I heard it again. Truck garage. Bearing replaced again. Made it to Oklahoma. Noise again. Truck garage again.
This mechanic investigated farther. He figured out it had the wrong bearing installed. The truck lease garage mechanic put in the wrong bearing and each garage after that pulled the bearing, matched the numbers on that bearing, and put it back together. The incorrect bearings all fit the bearing race in the wheel but they were loose on the spindle.

 

[cosgig]

Had the GTX out and washed it up the night before I was going to go to a show or cruise the next day. Went out the next day and there were cat prints on the trunk, up on the top, and back down the hood. Called the car, he came over, I grabbed him and put him on the hood and gave him a whack. Out came the claws, and for lack of traction, he scratched his way off the hood trying to gain traction. Scratched the hood up pretty good, but it was my fault.

 

[Newbomb Turk]

This wasn't something I did. In 1980, I was hauling pianos driving a Peterbilt that was from a truck leasing company. I took the truck in for service and they used a speed balancer to balance front tires while on the truck. He heard a noise and said you have a bad wheel bearing. So he took it apart and installed a new bearing.
Then I headed out for the west coast. I stopped in Knoxville and heard a noise from the front of the truck. Obviously something wrong in that same wheel. Took it to a truck garage. The new bearing had failed. Had it replaced and made it to Arkansas before I heard it again. Truck garage. Bearing replaced again. Made it to Oklahoma. Noise again. Truck garage again.
This mechanic investigated farther. He figured out it had the wrong bearing installed. The truck lease garage mechanic put in the wrong bearing and each garage after that pulled the bearing, matched the numbers on that bearing, and put it back together. The incorrect bearings all fit the bearing race in the wheel but they were loose on the spindle.

Damn. Just damn. That could have resulted in a full on failure and the resulting crash could have had serious repercussions.

In the fall of 1991 I was pulling a set of doubles. It was a Saturday and I left Portland at 0500, headed to Seattle to drop that set and bring back another. A Freightliner cab over. I hate COE.

For 12 work days I wrote on my ***** sheets that the steering tires were checking and they needed to be changed out. We had the tires, the lazy mechanic just didn’t want to do it.

So every day I wrote it up on my cry sheet.

I was south of Federal Way and I felt a little shaking and next thing you know it blew out the right steering tire.

I was bringing back empties and it took all I had to keep from losing total control and wiping out a bunch of four wheelers and potentially hurting or killing people.

I gathered it up and pulled over. I sat there, on the side of I5 for SIX HOURS until they came out and got me rolling again.

Needless to say Monday morning I ignored the moron dispatcher we had and didn’t come in until 0800 when the owners showed up.

I took my ***** book into the office and showed the owners what was happening with the mechanics and how many times I wrote it up and how they ignored it. They had no idea what happened Saturday.

I said I wanted my pay check and I was done. I can’t drive junk **** and live with myself. What if I didn’t save it? What if I really hurt or worse yet killed some one? Or multiple people? The company would be gone and the blood of anyone hurt or dead would be on my head.

I said fire the head mechanic and the dispatcher and I’ll stay. They fired the mechanic on the spot. The dispatcher got a written warning.

I later learned he didn’t get canned because he was the brother in law of one of the owners.

 

[cosgig]

I’ll give you another….

I took the kids up to the school in Nellas car for a driving lesson. They both drove around the school a few times, then it was time for burnout lessons. My son, who was 12 at the time, did a respectable burnout for his first time, but Nella wouldn’t do one. Later that afternoon we were heading to horseback riding and I stopped for a pizza. Nella rides in her powered wheelchair with ratchet strap restraints to keep the chair from moving around inside the van. The floor is rubberized, and that cost $1k to have installed. I come out with the pizza and the kids are both laughing it up.

Me….”what’s so funny”?
Ian…”Nella did a burnout”!

I looked down at the rubber mat and sure enough, she had put her chair on high and did a burnout in her chair and burned 2 holes in the rubber. I was not happy, and when I told my wife later she said…”well, what do you expect, you had to teach them how to do burnouts”! Touché!

 

[Newbomb Turk]

I’ll give you another….

I took the kids up to the school in Nellas car for a driving lesson. They both drove around the school a few times, then it was time for burnout lessons. My son, who was 12 at the time, did a respectable burnout for his first time, but Nella wouldn’t do one. Later that afternoon we were heading to horseback riding and I stopped for a pizza. Nella rides in her powered wheelchair with ratchet strap restraints to keep the chair from moving around inside the van. The floor is rubberized, and that cost $1k to have installed. I come out with the pizza and the kids are both laughing it up.

Me….”what’s so funny”?
Ian…”Nella did a burnout”!

I looked down at the rubber mat and sure enough, she had put her chair on high and did a burnout in her chair and burned 2 holes in the rubber. I was not happy, and when I told my wife later she said…”well, what do you expect, you had to teach them how to do burnouts”! Touché!

View attachment 1716375610

No one ever got sick from smoking the tires!!

Good for your daughter. She did good!

 

[tinman2]

Another adventure in that same truck. I noticed when I cranked and warmed up the Cummins engine, the temp gauge would rise to about 220° before settling back to 180° where it stayed. I thought maybe the thermostat was sticking so the leasing garage put in a new one.
Then on my next trip to Portland and Seattle, I made it to a truck garage in Cactus, Tx, just above Amarillo. The outside temperature was -12° and my truck was overheating. Spent the night in that garage sitting at a break table trying not to freeze to death. They said it was the water pump which they replaced and sent me on my way.
Driving across Wyoming, the temperature dropped to -26° and the truck started overheating again. Near Evanston,I saw what looked like steam rising from a field and stopped on the shoulder of the interstate. Water was actually flowing in a stream. I got the bright idea to remove the thermostat and dip water from the stream to fill it back up. Pulled the top radiater hose and neck. The thermostat doesn't come out like a car engine. But, I could see it mounted sideways down in there. I pryed it open and put a little ⅜" wrench in there to hold it open maybe ⅛". Put it all back together and headed for a truck garage in Salt Lake City. And thought I was going to freeze. Water temp would get up to maybe 140° on a long hill. Then going down the other side, the temp gauge would bottom out below 100°. Got a new thermostat installed. Problem solved.
Another case of a replacement part causing the problem.

 

[Newbomb Turk]

Another adventure in that same truck. I noticed when I cranked and warmed up the Cummins engine, the temp gauge would rise to about 220° before settling back to 180° where it stayed. I thought maybe the thermostat was sticking so the leasing garage put in a new one.
Then on my next trip to Portland and Seattle, I made it to a truck garage in Cactus, Tx, just above Amarillo. The outside temperature was -12° and my truck was overheating. Spent the night in that garage sitting at a break table trying not to freeze to death. They said it was the water pump which they replaced and sent me on my way.
Driving across Wyoming, the temperature dropped to -26° and the truck started overheating again. Near Evanston,I saw what looked like steam rising from a field and stopped on the shoulder of the interstate. Water was actually flowing in a stream. I got the bright idea to remove the thermostat and dip water from the stream to fill it back up. Pulled the top radiater hose and neck. The thermostat doesn't come out like a car engine. But, I could see it mounted sideways down in there. I pryed it open and put a little ⅜" wrench in there to hold it open maybe ⅛". Put it all back together and headed for a truck garage in Salt Lake City. And thought I was going to freeze. Water temp would get up to maybe 140° on a long hill. Then going down the other side, the temp gauge would bottom out below 100°. Got a new thermostat installed. Problem solved.
Another case of a replacement part causing the problem.

Damn.

 

[tinman2]

Damn.

Maybe I should have started a different thread. As I think about it, the memories are pouring in.

 

[44070dart]

A long time ago, when I was in my teens and broke, I tried to siphon gas out of a company van. I stuck the hose in and gave it a hit. The gas must have come most of the way up the hose because the next hit, it shot out and I swallowed a good bit. Grabbed some water rinsing my face and mouth. For the next couple days I was breathing fumes, and afraid to light a cigarette. My girl wouldn't kiss me, and I burped fumes. I don't know how I didn't barf.

 

[Newbomb Turk]

A long time ago, when I was in my teens and broke, I tried to siphon gas out of a company van. I stuck the hose in and gave it a hit. The gas must have come most of the way up the hose because the next hit, it shot out and I swallowed a good bit. Grabbed some water rinsing my face and mouth. For the next couple days I was breathing fumes, and afraid to light a cigarette. My girl wouldn't kiss me, and I burped fumes. I don't know how I didn't barf.

lol one quick smoke and you’d have been SMOKING. Literally.

Classic.

 

[missing linc]

Had the GTX out and washed it up the night before I was going to go to a show or cruise the next day. Went out the next day and there were cat prints on the trunk, up on the top, and back down the hood. Called the car, he came over, I grabbed him and put him on the hood and gave him a whack. Out came the claws, and for lack of traction, he scratched his way off the hood trying to gain traction. Scratched the hood up pretty good, but it was my fault.

Similar story, I was at my brother's place, had my dogs along, and we were in the attached garage where he had his 70 Chevelle SS454 in the first stall, and a 79 Trans Am on the hoist in the center bay. He had been talking about the exhaust system that he had just put on, and he hit the button to lift it up to show me. My husky male Charlie, about 80 lbs, doesn't like sudden unfamiliar noises, leaped onto the hood of the Chevelle. My brother's eyes went wide as saucers and he stammered out "holy what the ****?!". I had my back to the Chevelle and turned around just as Charlie jumped down. I was expecting to get a sizable repair bill for that, but the cover was on the car, and when we pulled it off, amazingly no damage!

 

[Pound]

I've done my share of dumb things with cars over the years, including putting the jack through a tail light when the car rolled forward because I didn't block the front wheels. Most recently when I was assembling a 360 for my 75 Dart Sport I installed the new timing chain incorrectly. I was thinking small block Ford alignment, (had just done one a few months earlier), instead of small block Mopar. Surprisingly the engine did run, not very well, but it did run.
I went through the distributor alignment multiple times, rechecked the firing order multiple times, changed the carburetor and fuel pump, replaced the distributor and ignition module, coil, pickup, cap, rotor, etc. multiple times, even swapped out the torque convertor, refusing to believe that I fucked up the timing chain alignment. Finally after about 2 months of frustration with this engine I finally pulled the front cover. Yep, I had installed the chain wrong.
It ran much better after I corrected it, but never had the power that I expected when compared to my previous 360 Dart.

I still have the scar from doing the exact same thing with the tail light on my '79 Lebanon! Stupid me, I tried to keep the car from rolling by holding the jack. Like I'm stopping a nearly 2 ton car from moving! My hand and the jack went through the tail light, leaving a 2" gash in my hand. The door to the house was locked besides. Lots of blood all over everything and a trip to the ER. I almost learned safety that day!

 

[Newbomb Turk]

I still have the scar from doing the exact same thing with the tail light on my '79 Lebanon! Stupid me, I tried to keep the car from rolling by holding the jack. Like I'm stopping a nearly 2 ton car from moving! My hand and the jack went through the tail light, leaving a 2" gash in my hand. The door to the house was locked besides. Lots of blood all over everything and a trip to the ER. I almost learned safety that day!

Ouch.