Why we miss Rodney dangerfield

[stansblue72]

Because he said ....

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.

MY FAVORITE:

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with.

 

[69cudafla]

he sure was one of a kind!!!

 

[Dfnsmn34]

i tell ya no respect!

 

[Fstforward]

"My wife's a bad cook, I tell ya, in our house, instead of "come and get it" it was "try and eat it"!!


Loved Rodney

 

[69cudafla]

am i the only person who when i watch caddy shack i can't wait for rodney to show up instead of bill murray???

 

[Bigdummy]

"Call me when you have no class"

 

[340john]

He was one in a million.

 

[SGBARRACUDA]

I'll always remember this line," I tell ya, my wifes cooking is so bad, the flys are chipping in to fix the hole in the screen door" Probably one of the funniest comedians ever!

 

[Bigdummy]

My wife is a wonderful cook,I left dental floss in the kitchen and the roaches hung themselves.In my house we pray after we it.I don't thing meatloaf should grow in the dark!

 

[Logan]

I like the one where he was living in New York and asked his mechanic for a rough estimate. The medchanic kicked him in the nuts and said $200!