12 Dad jokes

[abdywgn]

Why does Santa go down chimneys on Christmas Eve?

Because it soots him.


But what does Santa suffer from if he gets caught in a chimney?

Claustrophobia.


Why did the snowman go to the garden?

To pick his nose.


And what do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.


Why is everyone at the North Pole so thirsty?

No well, no well.


What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?

Hornaments.


And what do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinselittis.


Why won't you ever see Santa in a hospital?

Because he has private elf care.


What do you call an elf who wins the lottery?

Welfy.


And what is every elfs' favorite type of music?

Wrap.


What do gingerbread men sleep on?

Cookie sheets.


And...

A gingerbread man went to the doctor complaining of a sore knee.

The doctor asked him, "Have you tried icing it?"

 

[abdywgn]

and now, sal-Dad jokes

What do you call it when it starts raining green leafy vegetables?

A kale storm.



What do you call a normal guy who eats salads?

Arugula guy.

.

What do you call it when your salad has no flavor?

An issue that needs addressing.



What should you do if you are out of dressing?

Romaine calm.

 

[joel d. snyder]

ah, are you guys in luck. i was gifted 400 dad jokes. 1.why did the turkey join the rock band? because it had drum sticks. 2. how is a baseball team similar to a pancake? they both need a good batter. only 398 left to go.

 

[Ahoey]

ah, are you guys in luck. i was gifted 400 dad jokes. 1.why did the turkey join the rock band? because it had drum sticks. 2. how is a baseball team similar to a pancake? they both need a good batter. only 398 left to go.

My boys call them lame dad jokes, LDJ for short. Could you post a pic of the book wouldn’t mind telling some new groaners.

 

[abdywgn]

the book I send to a cousin was Chessey Dad jokes. It was orange and had holes in the cover. LOTS in there! my wife got tired of me reading them to her.

 

[jeff alder]

how many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb...........ONE... the narcissists hold the bulb, and the rest of the world revolves around him.

 

[diymirage]

my favorite one was a while ago, we were making dinner plans with the family and my middle girls (shes 11) goes "im not really hungry"
i looked at her in terror and asked "do i still really get to be dad ?"

 

[joel d. snyder]

thank you for your support . lol. it's not a book but a round tin can with ??? round cards. 2 jokes to a card, you do the math. and now today's installment: 1.what do you call a participation trophy in astronomy? a constellation prize. 2. have you seen the new movie Constipation? it hasn't come out yet.