i'm able to jump the starter.
Are you saying you can jumper the relay and it cranks, but not with the key?
is it possible to have a 3 pin neutral safety switch pluged in upside down? or are the outside 2 pins the same so it doesnt matter?
No the neutral safety is the center pin which grounds in park / neutral
Here:
1.....Identify the wire on your starter relay (push on connector) which goes down to the transmission. Remove that wire, and ground that terminal with a clip lead. Make certain the shifter is in park and see if it cranks using the key
If so, the trouble is in that wire, the connector, the neutral safety switch, or the linkage / adjustment
2......If it does NOT crank, leave the grounded clip. Remove the SECOND 'push on' wire, and jumper from the battery stud on the relay to that disconnected relay terminal. If it cranks, the trouble is the wire / connections / ignition switch
3.......If it does not crank in 2 above, jumper the big battery stud on the relay to the big square terminal. If it cranks, replace the relay
It is EASY to understand how these work
BATTERY STUD. The big stud is ONE of the relay contacts, and also a junction
SQUARE TERMINAL. The big square terminal goes down to the starter solenoid
PUSH ON TERMINALS. These can be reversed, they are the relay coil connections. One of them goes "to ground" in park or neutral through the NSS. In a stick car 70 / later, it is grounded by the clutch switch
The remaining 'push on' terminal hooks to a wire, goes through the bulkhead, to the ignition switch, is hot in 'crank.'