An accident report....

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gdrill

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I am writing in response to your request for "additional information". In block no. 30 of the accident report form, I put poor planning as the cause of my accident. You said in my last letter I should explain more fully. I trust that the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the section of my new 80 foot antenna tower. When I completed my job, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips, brought up about 300 lbs. of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry this all down by hand, I decided to lower the items in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the pole at the tip of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up the tower and loaded the tools etc. into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure slow descent of the 300 lbs of tools. You will note in block no. 11 of the accident report that I weigh 155 lbs, due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken clavicle. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold on tightly to the rope in spite of the pain. At about the same time however, the barrel hit the ground, the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed 20 lbs. I refer again to my weight in block no. 11. As you might guess, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower, in the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of tools, and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however that as I lay there on the tools in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind, I let go of the rope...:eek:ops:
 
This is an old one, but still funny.

My sister used to work for a major insurance co. I don't know whether this one was supposed to be true, or an "urban legend", or just a joke.

It involved something about someone falling off a bar stool and breaking their leg. Supposedly a biker was "turning his bike around" and nosed the bike up towards the front door, where the clutch lever "hit the side of the door" and he "lost control" and the bike roared into the bar, knocking the victim off the bar stool and breaking their leg.

NOW I ASK YOU does this sound like a sober, truthful incident to YOU?
 
Oh it hurts to laugh rofiplmao (rolling on floor in pain laughing my *** off)
 
That's hilarious! I remember a 10th grade English teacher that we had that was more comedian than teacher...he told us the same joke and all these too..

They are actual statements taken from insurance forms where drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible!

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have!

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent!

I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch, by some stray cows!!!

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him
 
i cannot stop laughing at the first one. suked me right in.lmao.rofl
 
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