Attention all Members: Stop Name Calling and Bickering

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Well nice finger pointing is still finger pointing. Saying stuff like "I know at least 1 arrogant jerk on here....." is in and of itself part of the problem, because guess what? We can ALL be that same arrogant jerk. Doody headedness can jump from person to person. Not a single one of us here is innocent. We each need to start with ourselves and work on what we can change. Other than that, we don't have much control.
 
Yep,ya cant label all with the same sign. Take it to p.m if you have a problem or report a thread if you see abuse.
 
lots of good points but lets be real, we all come from different walks so whats offensive to one person might not even make another person flinch. The owner of the house makes the rules and thats the way it is and I get it. Me personally its hard (next to impossible) to get me dusted. Harsh personality? Yes, but I admit it right off the bat. Poopie Head? about 50/50 but I try to argue with facts and intellect but it doesnt always work out the way I plan it. One thing I will admit I won't type ANYTHING that I'm not willing to say to anyones face, win, lose or draw. I get along with 98% of y'all here and I like it here a lot and hopefully we will all learn that we ain't all the same, stop whining and check your feelings at the door and most of all take something from the site, bring something to the site, and have fun in the process. Nuff said, I'm going to bed....
 
Well nice finger pointing is still finger pointing. Saying stuff like "I know at least 1 arrogant jerk on here....." is in and of itself part of the problem, because guess what? We can ALL be that same arrogant jerk. Doody headedness can jump from person to person. Not a single one of us here is innocent. We each need to start with ourselves and work on what we can change. Other than that, we don't have much control.

Yes!

Yep,ya cant label all with the same sign. Take it to p.m if you have a problem or report a thread if you see abuse.

Yes!
 
All I can add is this,

The Six Dimensions of Respect

Often a lack of respect comes from a misunderstanding of the word. We throw around the word 'respect' very glibly, as a single cure-all for our feelings. But respect is not just one term. It carries six other dimensions within it:

1. curiosity

2. attention

3. dialogue

4. sensitivity

5. empowerment

6. healing

If we are not really demonstrating those six concepts in various ways, with regards to the one we say we respect, we are not showing them much respect at all.

Curiosity

Respect starts with curiosity. We have an interest in that person. We want to know as much about them as possible, or at least a few key things to start with. In the dating process we engineer all kinds of opportunities to satisfy that curiosity and are often mortified when we get no response from our interest because are unable to fulfil our curiosity in any way and to give our attention. We feel frustrated, rejected and insignificant.

Attention

If curiosity is satisfied, we move to give that person our full attention. Indeed, our curiosity grows too, because that person begins to assume value in our eyes. The amount of value will depend on the way they satisfy our curiosity and attention. If the information we get is weak, unappealing or non-reinforcing, we lose interest rapidly, our attention wanes and we move towards another. However, if we perceive that the new interest aligns with us and matches us in major ways, excitement and interest both quicken. We then lavish even more attention on that person, going out of our way to attract their attention and interest.

Dialogue

Lots of attention inevitably leads to dialogue because that is the only way we can learn about our new interest. We communicate verbally as much as possible because we respect that person enough to want to hear what they have to say. We also take the greatest pleasure in conversing for its own sake. Hence much money will be spent on dates and phone calls, in particular. Where there is little respect, we are not in the least bit interested in that person and won't even talk to them. If there is also disrespect, for example, we made assumptions about them based upon their gender, colour, sexuality etc., we will go so far as to treat them negatively. We might have a dialogue at such times but it will express our anxieties, prejudices or anger, not our respect.

Sensitivity

This is at the core of respect. Accepting the person as they are without wanting to change them to suit us; fully acknowledging their values, culture, identity and who they want to be; valuing their contributions, opinions and inputs and genuinely listening to them and sharing their concerns. These are all essential elements of showing sensitivity to the person they are, and wish to be. When we put ourself and our needs first, and can only see our values, cultures and opinions, we are lacking great sensitivity to those we care for and are actually denying them respect, no matter what we say to the contrary.

Empowerment

Being curious about someone, giving our attention to, having a dialogue with, him or her, and being sensitive to their needs represent the greatest form of empowerment we can grant to another human being. It shows we value them greatly if we are willing to give them our attention and time, and also care about what they value. Anything else lacks respect. For example, if someone is trying to talk to you but you are busy playing on your computer, or talking to someone else on the phone, that shows little reciprocity for the respect they might be giving to you, or sensitivity to their presence and needs.

Healing

Respect has the capacity to heal, especially when we have had past experiences that have been very hurtful or traumatic, so this last dimension is important. When we have had a bad time it is very affirming to be respected and valued by the new person we are attracted to, or the people we interact with, and it is effective in speeding up the healing process. For example, if someone felt really inadequate because her man went off with a younger, more beautiful woman, a new lover in her life demonstrating how wonderful she is would give her much-needed respect and reinforcement. This would heal her pain even quicker than if she had to overcome it by herself. Respect heals because it affirms and reinforces who we are and wish to be. It also puts past hurt into perspective, or even negates it, and restores our confidence.

Respect and trust can never be taken for granted. They are attributes that have to be proven. They are also directly reciprocal to the behaviour of others. For example, when we feel that we have had no respect from other people we care about, it is likely that we have given them very little respect ourselves. Most of us are sensitive to when we are not being treated with respect and are then unable to give any in its absence.

If you feel disrespected, what are you doing in the process? There is always a connection. You are either accepting substandard behaviour in order to gain approval, allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat, or you are not treating someone well enough. Once you sort out the root cause, mutual respect and trust are usually assured.
 
So I am warning everyone. If I see you being abusoive to another memeber, I might just ban you from FABO without question, comment or warning. So consider that before you make a commnt that makes you look like a childish fool.

This needs to start happening fast. I haven't been on the board for too long, but a few peoples bad attitudes have caused quite a few people to develop the same bad attiude. I don't want to see this great forum turn into another fighting bickering annoying forum. There are a few members IMO that have had too many second chances.
 
K thanks doug. Just wanted it out in the open here so folks know.
 
Personally I'm really tired of the posts here and there where the tone of the Member is such that their opinion is the Be-All and End-All of any discussion. Istead of contributing their two cents to the discussion in a friendly, polite neighborly fashion, the tone is sarcastic and of the "I can't believe you ask such stupid questions and don't know this information" school of thought.
I have very rudimentary mechanical skills, and am the first to say "Hey, I don't have a clue how to do this, can someone help?" What I don't want or need are replies from Members who want to demonstrate how they're the Smartest Guy in the Room that day by insulting my lack of subject knowledge. I joined this site because I don't know a lot of things, and want to learn from other Members. Conversly, if I manage to pick up some way of doing some procedure along the way and think it may benefit a Member(s), I'll be glad to share but it's only my opinion and not The Gospel.
Just my two cents, and worth probably about that much.
 
Personally I'm really tired of the posts here and there where the tone of the Member is such that their opinion is the Be-All and End-All of any discussion. Istead of contributing their two cents to the discussion in a friendly, polite neighborly fashion, the tone is sarcastic and of the "I can't believe you ask such stupid questions and don't know this information" school of thought.
I have very rudimentary mechanical skills, and am the first to say "Hey, I don't have a clue how to do this, can someone help?" What I don't want or need are replies from Members who want to demonstrate how they're the Smartest Guy in the Room that day by insulting my lack of subject knowledge. I joined this site because I don't know a lot of things, and want to learn from other Members. Conversly, if I manage to pick up some way of doing some procedure along the way and think it may benefit a Member(s), I'll be glad to share but it's only my opinion and not The Gospel.
Just my two cents, and worth probably about that much.

I agree 100% . . . and congrats on yer 1000 post!
 
340dartpower,sorry I had to shorten it up a bit,lol! That's the whole reason this thread started. Decent folks asking real questions and being driven off the sight for it. It's obvious some use thier anonimity as an excuse to take thier problems out on others.

It's part of being human to not know everything. Thats why we ask questions. And there are no stupid ones..therefore noone deserves a stupid answere.

I dont know about you but I came here for answeres,made friends and stayed. Not a likely scenario when your being victemised for asking to begin with.

So in conclusion,it's really the type of person that is constantly rude and never helps anyone we need to lose,not you.
 
i guess humor gets lost on some people, but to each their own. as far as name calling i don't think i ever did it on here just out of respect even in the politics forum. text type doesnt not read sarcasm well so some people including myself can misinterpret the point.

for example my last name is Lopez and i thought spaz's comment was funny, but i can also laugh at myself which a lot of people cannot do.

anyway rules are rules and sometimes they need to be retold once in a while. I do not envy any of the Mod's jobs (lol the Mod Squad)

Disclaimer: not sure what the point of my post was but just wanted to get the thoughts off my mind...oh and to see myself type (or hear myself talk so-to-speak)
 
Im typing this so I can hear myself talk... typing... typing.... a bird flew by...... typing..... wow.... typing.... typing.... typing .... I have nothing to do except hear myself talk.... typing.... some one sent me a email.... typing.... wow.... typing.... uh oh they hurt my feelings.... typing... typing... just let everyone know... typing..... typing.......
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LOL!
 
OH SHUCKS if i have to stop swearing and name calling its going to ruin my reputation. I'll have to live with being PERFECT. LOL. Hunky
 
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