BMW stands for "Blew my wad"

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pishta

pishta

I know I'm right....
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As in "I blew my wad to buy this car". Check this real life story out: We are bout 120 miles up the coast camping at a state park, Leo Carillo in Malibu, CA. one of our party has a newish Bimmer 750IL, reported to be bought for ~112 large. So she takes the key off the keyless remote fob because it has a tendency to fall off and keeps it in the glove compartment (not real bright, but she has a great set of legs...) Anyway, the keyless entry receiver craps out in the car so now she cant get into her car to get the key to start it (or unlock it, duh) And to make matters worse, she is in the wrong camping space and the power drunk park ranger is threatening to impound her car because she wont (cant) move it! SO she has to call BMW of Newport Beach to ask what the hell she can do to get into the car..they tell her she has to get it flatbed towed back to Newport Beach BMW so they can open it for her! No, they cant call close Calabasas BMW or one of the 10 in Los Angeles to help her, its gotta be where she purchased it! So now, 2 flatbeds later (because they cant seem to hook it without damage because she is parked head in with her wheels turned and has about 3 inches of stock ground clearance) the flatbed guy says straight up, "just break the F'n driver side window and get your key out, its the cheapest window in the car and itll save you a 100 mile tow". We never got the end of the story 'cause we didnt want to wait around for the outcome, but well see her in church tomorrow for the rest Im sure. But I hope the key is not chipped itself, that would make it impossible to start anyway if that reciever is kaput to right? Forget that.....Give me a coathanger and an old Mopar!
 
BMW stands for alot of "not safe from work" and stuff that i cant write on this forum;)
well breaking the window is probably the least expensive thing to do unless the glovecompartment is also locked.

i realy dont like bmw´s but there 6cylinder in the right hotroders hands can make realy stupid amounts of power.
 
ha she shoulda broke the window and claimed that it was vandalized and the insurance would pay for it...well that is in a grey area....the tow woulda been free with my insurance, you guys in Cali are lucky there wont be any camping here for at least 3 or 4 weeks, not warm enough IMO. you will have to let us know how it turned out for her.
 
Those chips in the keys are not related to the batteries in the remote. At least not on anything else I've ever worked on and that's included BMW. I find it really strange BMW has no toll free number to call and get a signal shot from a satellite to unlock the doors. Most any other high end cars do. If my 100,000 buck plus modern car did not, that sumbitch would be goin in for a refund. That's just flippin stupid. If they don't offer that service.
 
Years ago a friend of mine locked his keys in his car (NOT a BMW). Called a locksmith. $40 to open the car. Called a salvage yard. $7.50 for a vent window.
 
This sounds a little fishy. First, in the new CJD products w/ the keyless system, the auto unlock is NOT ACTIVE if the remote is in the car, for obvious reasons, and I doubt the BMW system would be any different. You CAN lock the key in the car using the button on the door handle, but it takes a bit of work.
 
Up in Idaho, we called suburbans BMWs - Big Mormon Wagons!
 
It's been quite a few years but my 1987 535is was a wonderful car and my friends M1 was off the charts.
 
Beat My Woman

Barvarians Meant Well

Beat My Winky

Becomes Major Work

Barf Mucus Warts

Bang My Women

***** Made Waste

Bunghole Mounting Wussy

If so many cool breezes didnt drive them, I'd still like'em...oh well.
 
Hmmmmmmmmmmm... Strange story.

Every tow jockey I know of in my city has a set of slim-jims and all assortment of tools to enter a vehicle. And most know how to use them real quick and efficient like. Makes me wonder if some of 'em do some moonlighting for "midnight auto parts". lol



Wylde1.
 
I drive a 2003 m5 to work everyday and there's not much on the road that compares. BMW's are like Mopars you got to know what your doing or it's going to cost you to find someone to work on it.
 
HemiMark said:
It's been quite a few years but my 1987 535is was a wonderful car and my friends M1 was off the charts.
Click to expand...

That's what my current daily driver has been for the last 4 years- an 88 BMW 535is. It's seriously possibly the best car that I've ever owned out of close to 40 cars. It was cheap, gets 25 MPG on the freeway, it handles incredibly with a few cheap suspension parts, has a/c that works, cruise and power everything that works. The brakes are very good and it has a limited slip for doing doughnuts and nice burnouts. :toothy10:

It's got 275,000 miles on it and no sign of stopping. Must be because it's a slant 6 also. 8)

I'd never own a BMW newer than this one though. After that model, they became more complex, harder and more expensive to work on and less reliable. And the interiors on newer ones fall apart! :wack:

My BMW after it was painted in 2008:
2330488942_c22a23a413_z.jpg
 
TNT440_Cbody said:
It's seriously possibly the best car that I've ever owned out of close to 40 cars.
Click to expand...
I have to concur with this. I had a really sweet little 318i in Germany that was just fantastic. Ran like a swiss watch and would go like stink on the Autobahn. Never a hiccup, 6 years I had that car. And you have to admit some of the new ones like the M series cars are really phenomenal in virtually every respect compared to most of the old iron we drive.
 
I have heard the superiority of BMW, SAAB, VOLVO, blah blah blah...... I really don't think oone last any longer than the other, considering a K car can go 300K with no major hiccups.............
 
when the key less remote crapped out on my ram 3500 I went to radio shack and spent $5 on some new batteries, problem solved
 
Big Money Waste

Benefits Mechanic's (or Machinist's) Wallet

In the late 90's when I was a machinist, the shop I worked at had a lot of dealership accounts. We were getting 3 to 5 6 cyl BMW heads in a week for blown head gaskets. I don't remember which series they were. That was just one series. I saw lots of cracked BMW cylinder heads, blown gaskets, etc throughout my 10 years there.

A week and a half ago I went back to my old shop to get some stuff bead blasted and they had a 2008 BMW head in the shop that had lost it's timing belt and bent all the valves. A 2008 car with the head off already! That's ridiculous.

They are all junk IMO.
 
TNT440_Cbody said:
That's what my current daily driver has been for the last 4 years- an 88 BMW 535is. It's seriously possibly the best car that I've ever owned out of close to 40 cars. It was cheap, gets 25 MPG on the freeway, it handles incredibly with a few cheap suspension parts, has a/c that works, cruise and power everything that works. The brakes are very good and it has a limited slip for doing doughnuts and nice burnouts. :toothy10:

It's got 275,000 miles on it and no sign of stopping. Must be because it's a slant 6 also. 8)

I'd never own a BMW newer than this one though. After that model, they became more complex, harder and more expensive to work on and less reliable. And the interiors on newer ones fall apart! :wack:

My BMW after it was painted in 2008:
2330488942_c22a23a413_z.jpg
Click to expand...

Good stuff. I have always been a fan of the 80's 5 series and the early 70's 2002 Tii's.
 
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