Speaking of dumb questions;
Some years back, I was taking a couple of guys for a joy-ride over lunch hour. Eventually we came to this big gravel yard with a couple of very large silos in the center of, it ........ so that was like an invitation right?
So I get into the slide, and expand it on every fly-by, and eventually the dust is expanding upwards, which I take as a sign to flee this location. And as I'm coming around for the last time, Bam, there they are, two coppers already out of the car.
I shut off the car, and suddenly it gets real quiet, I stick my hands out of the window. The guys are desperate not to laugh. me too.
So the big cop comes over to my window and says; "you know you can't do that here right?'
I can't look at him.
"But you do it pretty good......." his exact words.
Now I look at him.
"You know I'm gonna have to give you a ticket, right?"
Well says smart-azz me, "Isn't that kindof discretionary."
He looks at me with a funny look, and Ima thinking what an idiot I am.
Anyway, he disappears into his car, and a long time later, he brings my papers back, Cop says;
"You Know, I could charge you with" ; and then blathers off a long list of offences, "right?"
OK Ima thinking; 1) that's the third dumb question he has asked me. and 2) Com'on man, I'm 52 years old, I know how this works, just gimme the damn ticket; but I don'y say anything, except "yes sir.".
Yeah I got the ticket, Then he continues, "find another place"/ same smile .
$350 plus court costs. No demerits, no long lecture. I guess he liked the discretionary comment, and, I guess he liked my performance, cuz he was still smiling, as he turned to his car, lol.
I tippy-toed outta there, and we all went back to work. We laughed about that day for several years.
Been a few years now since this happened ..about 11 at night, quiet street cutting through an industrial turf on my way home
2 lanes, 1 light
im in the fast lane, some import is in the slow lane
when the light turns green i start to go, not racing mind you, just pulling out
well, you know this thing people sometimes do, where they pace you, and your not really racing but your not letting the other car pass?
well, he did that to me
so at about 45 MPH i had enough of it, and i stepped on it
1.5 seconds later, at 75 MPH i let off, and the moment i let off, the cop behind me lit me up
so i pulled over, killed the engine, turned the dome light on and put my hands on the wheel
he came over and asked if i had a drivers license
i said, i do, but im not gonna reach for it with that 9MM laying there (i keep it under the armrest)
when he asked if it was loaded i managed to refrain from explaining they would be rather pointless if not loaded, and simply said "off course"
he ran my license and CPL and throughout the whole deal i of course was very polite (as always) and the cop must have appreciated that because he let me off with a warning
now, if you ever been let off with a warning before, you know it ALWAYS comes with a sermon (or so im told, i never get pulled over)
so, the sermon went something like this:
Son, what you are not getting a ticket for is reckless driving
if you get on it hard enough to go sideways...and i was behind you, you were s-i-d-e-w-a-y-s...that is considered reckless driving
and then he tells me, your driving an orange duster, if you acting out you WILL get noticed
Ya it’s like I instructed my boy when the cops pull you over, it’s yes sir, no sir, I’ll try to do better next time sir. Respect has won me a lot of No tickets. Kissing *** you bet. better than a $300 ticket.
I grew up down the road from an airforce base and the way thing were back home, military police has the authority to enforce civil and traffic laws within a certain radius of their base
Worst part is, you cant tell a Dutch military police vehicle from a regular police (well, from the side you can, but not from the front in your rear view mirror)
The thing that gives it away, is when the military police pulls you over its always 2 cops, who are both carrying an MP4
Somehow, that encourages you to be polite and stick to "yes sir/no sir" answers
