Last one to post in this thread wins!

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How about this one!

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Well Today the Soybeans were dry enough to cut. I took my new to me combine out and for 2 passes I smelled a faint hint of burnt rubber. Then it started steaming coolant from a heater hose that rubbed a pulley. Fixed that and she ran flawless for the next 3 fields. I made one pass around the 4th field and heard what sounded like a bearing going out. I climbed off it walked around and found a belt broke. Crap need to haul in what I cut in the AM and order a new belt.
 
I recall my first time with a condom. I was 15. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Rubin's pharmacy.


In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and

there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Jeannie) knew what they were for.

She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, 'No, not really.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked.

I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

She was very angry with me!

Women have always been hard for me to figure out!

Maybe I should've worn one on each thumb.
 
And finally home after an hour of sitting in 1 spot on the freeway because some idiot in a tractor trailer crossed 3 lanes and hit a car closing the damn freeway and making me late to get a script so now I have to go on the AM which takes me away from the farm when I need to be working before the rain comes and stops me again. GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
 
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