My Luck

[justcuz]

lol

 

[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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[Unconventional]

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View attachment 1716263579

 

[retroron]

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View attachment 1716263579

It’s a rhetorical question, but couldn’t he/she give it to her/he self?

 

[ragtopfury]

Ummmm, no. That is an it. As far as I know an it can't reproduce, therefore it can't be a mother or father. No card for it.

 

[Ahoey]

Ummmm, no. That is an it. As far as I know an it can't reproduce, therefore it can't be a mother or father. No card for it.

Thank god it can’t reproduce, there’s a whole lot more people out there that shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce also. My opinion.

 

[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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[Unconventional]

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View attachment 1716264045

 

[Unconventional]

• I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me $40, so I gave it to the charity shop next door. They cleaned and pressed it and put it in the window. I bought it back for $15.

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• My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry. We've been awake since Tuesday.

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• Someone just gave me half a peace sign. Weird.

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• Growing up, we knew Dad had had enough when we heard the recliner slam down. Kids these days will never know that fear.

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• My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert! Doesn't it embarrass you?" I said: "No, I keep telling them it's for you."

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• She said she missed me. Normally that would be good but she's reloading.

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• When I was in elementary school we learned about a shape called a rhombus and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape.

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• My wife and I started role-playing in the bedroom. Her favorite is The Sexy Librarian where I have to sit quietly while she reads a book.

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• Being old is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go too.

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• I now know how it will all end for me, one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

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• At a wedding reception, someone yelled: "All married people please stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death.

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• I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.

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• I want someone I can share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time.

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• Yesterday I bought a world map, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, I will take you on vacation." We're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge.

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• As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.

 

[abdywgn]

Dark humor is like love – not everyone gets it!

My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care, and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.

Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?

 

[toplscuda]

 

[diymirage]

View attachment 1716264261

It's the shorts isn't it?

They are just too revealing

 

[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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[diymirage]

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View attachment 1716264610

A buddy of mine works at a tree trimming business and since I needed a few yard of mulch I asked him if he had access to some

He said he could drop off a trailer load for me, for free

So a few days later he shows up and goes, where do you want it?
(This was Friday, by the way)

So since I wasn't planning on taking the boat out I had him drop it in front off the boat
All 12 yards of it

The next day, my wife goes, it sure is nice out there, we should take the boat out

So I shoveled as much as I thought I had to, to get the boat out

Man was I working up a sweat, I think I'd prefer shoveling snow

I even considered hooking to plow up to the truck to move it, but I bet you can guess where I keep that in the summer

 

[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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[Mark Wainwright]

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