Rednecks

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Mark Wainwright

Mark Wainwright

FABO Gold Member
FABO Gold Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2017
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Location
Ontario Canada
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this'

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are ' Gentlemen, start your engines.'

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

18. Popping the hood involves removing at least two bungee cords.

And in closing...

Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant. After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday , bang your old lady while you were off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin? ”

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking really hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"
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Your family tree has no branches.
You have to take the transmission out of the bath tub for your wife to have a bath.
You have a matching set of salad bowls that say ''Cool Whip'' on them.
You go to family reunions to pick up women.
The difference between a redneck funeral and a redneck wedding is one less drunk.
The difference between a redneck woman and a walrus is 5 pounds and one tooth.
You teach your son to be polite by removing the clean dishes from the sink before you take a whiz in it.
 
What does a 16 year old girl from Alabama say after having sex? "Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes."
 
You've had the same transmission in 3 different Cars.

Your home is Mobile, but the 3 cars in the yard are not.

☆☆☆☆☆
 
Dartnut said:
Your family tree has no branches.
You have to take the transmission out of the bath tub for your wife to have a bath.
You have a matching set of salad bowls that say ''Cool Whip'' on them.
You go to family reunions to pick up women.
The difference between a redneck funeral and a redneck wedding is one less drunk.
The difference between a redneck woman and a walrus is 5 pounds and one tooth.
You teach your son to be polite by removing the clean dishes from the sink before you take a whiz in it.
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"One less drunk"!!!!
That is ******* funny.
 
How do you know if you're a worthless piece of trailer dwelling white trash embarrassment to American society?


You're already offended before any punchline.
 
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