Friends that you had to let go.

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Kern Dog

Kern Dog

Build your car to handle.
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We have all had friends that eventually got too much to take.

Over the last several years, I have noticed something about people that has affected how much I am willing to tolerate.
SOME people talk about themselves too damned much.
To me, the most interesting person is the one that engages others in conversations. The dialog is a shared one and isn't one sided.
The absolute worst is the guy that only talks about what HE is interested in.
I went here, I went there, I bought this, I sold that.....
I know some guys that are great though. They ask questions, talk about tech, family stuff, current events and don't make every subject revolve around themselves.
TWO separate terminal bachelors that I've known always talk about themselves and show almost no interest in what anyone else wants to say.
Why is that? I know it isn't limited to just bachelors but I wonder if a lifetime of NOT having a woman around to care for tends to render them completely selfish.
Every car show that I go to, I see guys that I haven't seen in several months if not a year. Some are considerate people. Many are not. I always try to remember their car and ask them about it. Some reciprocate. Some see my question as an excuse to give a 17 minute monolog about everything on their minds. These are the ones that are slowly being added to the list of people I don't care to speak with that much.
I've mentioned this issue to many people that I know and some have said they feel the same way.
Tim is a guy that I've known for more than 12 years. He used to live in town but moved away for a job. He calls and wants to talk about everything HE is interested in. When I try to elaborate on something from my own day, I get the obvious signs of disinterest, followed by Okay, I gotta get going.
The last time he did this, in closing, I said...."Well, it was great listening to everything that YOU wanted to talk about".
He was surprised....What do you mean by that??
The guy was clueless. He is a software engineer but not smart enough to take a hint on this.
I like having friends but if the ones I have only see me as someone to listen to THEM talk all the time, I'll quit taking their calls.
How about you?
Have you had buddies with bad habits you just couldn't take?
 
Yes, I had one that never worked until I got him a job at 29 years old. He was a mama’s boy. He would always brag about his muscle cars, but he failed to mention that his mama bought them.
 
I knew a guy from High School that I was friends with for years. He had a BAD temper and was often irrational about things.
The ****** broke 7 Milwaukee Skilsaws in one year, bashing them at work when he got pissed. He worked construction for most of his life.
He always thought the world was against him too.'
He painted his house 4 times in one weekend. He didn't like the first color so he painted it another color. The 2nd and 3rd color didn't please him either so he went back and bought more paint to lay on a 4th coat. It didn't enter this idiots mind to PAINT JUST ONE WALL.
After the 4th coat, he figured maybe it was the stucco he didn't like so the next weekend, he put a skim coat over the stucco and had to paint the place a 5th time. Yeah, this really happened.
The final straw was how blatantly racist he became. Now, I love humor of all kinds, even racial jokes.
He was different. He hated Mexicans, blacks, Asians, everyone that wasn't white.
He got to where he'd go on a job and decide if he'd be interested in working there depending on the amount of Mexicans he saw on the job.
I couldn't stand that EVERY time he called, he'd go off on another tirade about how he hates Mexicans, how they "Took Over" construction and how he wanted to get rid of them.
To give you an idea of this guys mindset....One time a girlfriend broke up with him and he was pissed about it. He was out hunting and came across a dead lamb. He hauled that to his truck and then drove to an arena where a concert was being held. The ex was there so he paid the parking fee and drove down every row until he found her car, then put the dead lamb on her hood.
Yeah...he told me about this as if I was going to understand and congratulate him for it.
 
Kern Dog said:
We have all had friends that eventually got too much to take.

Over the last several years, I have noticed something about people that has affected how much I am willing to tolerate.
SOME people talk about themselves too damned much.
To me, the most interesting person is the one that engages others in conversations. The dialog is a shared one and isn't one sided.
The absolute worst is the guy that only talks about what HE is interested in.
I went here, I went there, I bought this, I sold that.....
I know some guys that are great though. They ask questions, talk about tech, family stuff, current events and don't make every subject revolve around themselves.
TWO separate terminal bachelors that I've known always talk about themselves and show almost no interest in what anyone else wants to say.
Why is that? I know it isn't limited to just bachelors but I wonder if a lifetime of NOT having a woman around to care for tends to render them completely selfish.
Every car show that I go to, I see guys that I haven't seen in several months if not a year. Some are considerate people. Many are not. I always try to remember their car and ask them about it. Some reciprocate. Some see my question as an excuse to give a 17 minute monolog about everything on their minds. These are the ones that are slowly being added to the list of people I don't care to speak with that much.
I've mentioned this issue to many people that I know and some have said they feel the same way.
Tim is a guy that I've known for more than 12 years. He used to live in town but moved away for a job. He calls and wants to talk about everything HE is interested in. When I try to elaborate on something from my own day, I get the obvious signs of disinterest, followed by Okay, I gotta get going.
The last time he did this, in closing, I said...."Well, it was great listening to everything that YOU wanted to talk about".
He was surprised....What do you mean by that??
The guy was clueless. He is a software engineer but not smart enough to take a hint on this.
I like having friends but if the ones I have only see me as someone to listen to THEM talk all the time, I'll quit taking their calls.
How about you?
Have you had buddies with bad habits you just couldn't take?
Click to expand...
Do ex-wives count? Thinking back, I can't remember her ever asking me about my day. These charismatic people can draw you in at the beginning, but watch out.

To all the young (or not-so young) men out there, don't put your dick in CrAzY, STOP DICK THINKING! It will get you nothing but pain because it's harder to get rid of a wife than an acquaintance as Kern Dog discusses.

Her eyes they shown like the diamonds you'd think she was queen of the land and her hair fell over her shoulder tied up with a black velvet band.
So come all ye jolly young fellows I'll have you take warnin by me and when ever your out on the liquor me lads beware of the pretty colleens for they'll fill you with whisky and porter till you are not able to stand and the very next thing that you know me lads you've landed in vandyman's land.

 
I hung out with a lot of "friends of friends" in college who were fun to be around but as the years went by I realized they weren't "real" friends who would do much beneficial for you or be there in a time of need and/or had toxic personalities. I stopped talking to them not long after graduating and focused on my close long-term friends and family.

I'm generally not a very social person and am pretty particular about who I choose to be friends with. Trashy people with bad morals and habits I just don't bother with even if we have similar interests or sense of humor. Now at my new job I have the opposite problem lol, all the guys I work with are good people but all they talk about is sports, occasional drinking activities, married-with-children life. I will hopefully be able to relate to that last one in the near future but the rest? IDGAF... Fantasy football can kiss my a$$ :thumbsup:
 
Sadly yes, I have had to move on from a few. One was a good friend I had known for a number of years, and then he got married. Tried to adjust to the change and incorporated some couples activities, but his wife had to be in control all the time and was devious. On more than one occasion my friend and I had known plans to do something like go shooting or go racing, and as we were leaving her relatives arrive, as invited by her, and now all of sudden we're all going to lunch, and afterward "you boys can go do your thing." Not clueless, just in charge. My friend would apologize, but always go her way. There was no point in complaining about his wife's tricks, I had to let him go.
 
You are referring to Me Monsters. I've learned to spot them pretty much instantly. They don't listen, they may fake it with a "yeah" but really just waiting until they can say what they want to say next. By the way Kern Dog, I remember you from the Charger forum. I'm Chargerless now. :( But enough about me, lets talk about me a bit. ;)
 
I'm at the point where I simply lost all interest in staying in contact with anyone, with the exception of my children, grandchildren and maybe a half dozen 'pureblood' friends and neighbors.

I'm just sick and tired of listening to folks endlessly preaching to me all the **** they have 'learned' from their TV while completely refusing to hear ANYTHING back that doesn't align with their brain washing.

All of these sheeple happily disregarded decades long relationships in favour of clinging to everything they have been brainwashed into believing. I've now become quite happy to simply walk away from these relationships as well, after seeing how our governments use the compliant sheep as leverage to strip me of my rights. Why waste time maintaining relationships with the other team?

IMG_20230402_162740.jpg


Example: My wife was invited to a baby shower for the daughter / niece / cousin of an extended family who I grew up with, and my wife has known for the 42 years we've been married. My wife was knitting a couple of super soft (very popular) baby blankets for the new arrival, which had actually been requested by the Grandmother. Well, when the invitations went out, the last line politely asked that non-vaxxed not attend "for the safety of Mom and Baby".

It is no secret that my wife and I refused the jab so why the hell even send her an invitation like that instead of quietly bypassing her?

This was during the time where mandates restricted personal gathering in private homes. For whatever reason, all these brainwashed people failed to consider the fact that the government still allowed EVERYBODY at the shower and as many others as they wanted, regardless of vax status to go to Costco (ground zero for 'me first-ists') together as often as they wanted, apparently without risk.

The last straw in that instance was that even though my filthy unvaxxed Typhoid Mary Wife wasn't welcome among them at the shower, they still politely requested her filthy, diseased toxic deadly COVID riddled baby blankets.

With friends like that......
 
What's the old saying?


A wise man listens.

A fool waits for his turn to talk.
 
Mine are mostly not what they say. But their actions. And some is substance abuse. I have a friend that could turn a wrench decent. But could never afford anything himself because of his problems. He's a drunk. And no matter how many times I tried to explain. "There is no such thing as a functional drunk." Especially with cars of higher performance. You're going to hurt someone. His drinking demon always won. He nolonger can help with any performance effort. The picture below is actually him doing a test and tune hit with my Duster. (The only pic I have on my phone. I was the photographer on this hit.) On a day that he managed not to be drunk. But today? There is no time he is sober. It's too bad. He has some skills. Just completely destroyed.

I like my beer too. But after car hours. He just couldn't understand that drag racing is NOT a drinking sport.

Track.jpg
 
YY1 said:
What's the old saying?


A wise man listens.

A fool waits for his turn to talk.
Click to expand...
That is an apples and oranges situation.
Listening to someone ramble on and on isn't reasonable to the listener.
A wise man sees that he is being used and eventually tells the offender to piss off.
 
I was talking about the other party.

...and I have to add- DUH!

They are simply waiting for their turn to talk.
 
When my daughter was born i had to set those friends free as I became the responsible single father and have not heard from those friends since.

I raised my daughter on my own for 10 years till i met my first wife. She took in my daughter as her own. My daughters mom entered the picture again and has my daughter brainwashed. Now the wife and I are the evil people because I never did anything for her. I spend alot of days looking back at all the pictures from our trips and adventures. My daughter wants nothing to do with me now. So I sit back and wait.

I have learned to keep to myself and could care less. The wife is the social butterfly so she gets me out into the wild. But I prefer to stay home with her and the two toddlers.

A few friends that the wife has had over are younger and they don't seem to want to work and complain when they work more than 30 hours. I can't handle that attitude as I work my 40 hr work week plus roughly 30 hours a week on the family farm. It's like the world owes them something.
 
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I think we've all had at least a few people over the years that needed the bum's rush out of lives. I met one person through work that became what I considered a pariah. It reached the point where the only time I ever heard from him was when he wanted something.
I had stored some of his furniture at my place when he was couch surfing for a while, never heard from him for months, then suddenly he calls and wants me to deliver his things the next day! I asked another friend of mine if I could borrow his truck to move this idiot's crap, and he offered to help me out. We get to dumbfuck's new apartment, a three storey walk up, and he's not even there! Left his girlfriend to let us in! We dragged his **** into the apartment, dumped it inside the door and were on our way out when the girlfriend starts crying, saying they have no money and she's pregnant.
I walked away and never answered his calls again. That was probably over 35 years ago.
There have been a few others, but that was the most memorable.
On the whole covid scam, my sister in law had a similar experience to the one Dusterdenovo described with her own sister. There was a family get together planned for Christmas in 2021, but my sister in law, who is completely against any form of vaccination, was asked by her sister to wear a face diaper in her own home! She and my brother both refused to go along and a feud started over that. My brother says it has eased some, but the damage is done, and I don't blame them one damn bit.
 
dodgedifferent2 said:
When my daughter was born i had to set those friends free as I became the responsible single father and have not heard from those friends since.

I raised my daughter on my own for 10 years till i met my first wife. She took in my daughter as her own. My daughters mom entered the picture again and has my daughter brainwashed. Now the wife and I are the evil people because I never did anything for her. I spend alot of days looking back at all the pictures from our trips and adventures. My daughter wants nothing to do with me now. So I sit back and wait.

I have learned to keep to myself and could care less. The wife is the social butterfly so she gets me out into the wild. But I prefer to stay home with her and the two toddlers.

A few friends that the wife has had over are younger and they don't seem to want to work and complain when they work more than 30 hours. I can't handle that attitude as I work my 40 hr work week plus roughly 30 hours a week on the family farm. It's like the world owes them something.
Click to expand...
That's typically the most reason for changes. Changes in your life situation. Not so much their actions. But your priorities had to move. It happens all the time. And the people who adapt to the changes are typically still in your circles. I've learned to give space to those that required change. Sometimes we are on the other side of that issue. Nothing we've done wrong. They needed to follow a new path.
 
My step son is another one, he has told his mother on more than one occasion that he wishes her dead. In fact the last conversation ended with him saying that she could "just **** off and die already".
He blames her for everything that isn't perfect in his life. Pathetic.
 
missing linc said:
My step son is another one, he has told his mother on more than one occasion that he wishes her dead. In fact the last conversation ended with him saying that she could "just **** off and die already".
He blames her for everything that isn't perfect in his life. Pathetic.
Click to expand...
I've seen that too. Dysfunction that not only looks, but completely unnecessary. I'm willing to bet this individual has other issues too, other than family conflict. It's almost as if the "Conflict" is a symptom. No matter how overbearing a close family member may be. There is almost always a flip side to that coin.

And of course the rest of us have to hear, over and over again.
 
This is a somber thread topic. But something everyone has lived.
 
Kern Dog said:
We have all had friends that eventually got too much to take.

Over the last several years, I have noticed something about people that has affected how much I am willing to tolerate.
SOME people talk about themselves too damned much.
To me, the most interesting person is the one that engages others in conversations. The dialog is a shared one and isn't one sided.
The absolute worst is the guy that only talks about what HE is interested in.
I went here, I went there, I bought this, I sold that.....
I know some guys that are great though. They ask questions, talk about tech, family stuff, current events and don't make every subject revolve around themselves.
TWO separate terminal bachelors that I've known always talk about themselves and show almost no interest in what anyone else wants to say.
Why is that? I know it isn't limited to just bachelors but I wonder if a lifetime of NOT having a woman around to care for tends to render them completely selfish.
Every car show that I go to, I see guys that I haven't seen in several months if not a year. Some are considerate people. Many are not. I always try to remember their car and ask them about it. Some reciprocate. Some see my question as an excuse to give a 17 minute monolog about everything on their minds. These are the ones that are slowly being added to the list of people I don't care to speak with that much.
I've mentioned this issue to many people that I know and some have said they feel the same way.
Tim is a guy that I've known for more than 12 years. He used to live in town but moved away for a job. He calls and wants to talk about everything HE is interested in. When I try to elaborate on something from my own day, I get the obvious signs of disinterest, followed by Okay, I gotta get going.
The last time he did this, in closing, I said...."Well, it was great listening to everything that YOU wanted to talk about".
He was surprised....What do you mean by that??
The guy was clueless. He is a software engineer but not smart enough to take a hint on this.
I like having friends but if the ones I have only see me as someone to listen to THEM talk all the time, I'll quit taking their calls.
How about you?
Have you had buddies with bad habits you just couldn't take?
Click to expand...
Some have fallen to the way side as their life spirals downward in things I’m not up for doing in anyway shape or form.

AKA, drinking and drugs, no thanks. You can keep those things for yourself including your new found narcissistic ways, vanity, self-assuredness, pathetically poor attitude, and a host of other idiotic things that were never part of you or that were very small and minor that I’ve grown to be completely blown out of proportion issue. You’ve given up caring and concern for everything except yourself and your drugs. There was no room in my life for this or anybody that follows this. Also, trust me, no one cares anymore since you alienated them. No, they don’t want to step up to your level of excellence because it is not and they’re happier without you. Be by yourself and enjoy the loneliness of your small box you out yourself into. No, it’s not a palace you say it is, it’s a box of doom.

Then there are others that let there idle hands wonder around into places where they develop a vice outside of alcohol and drugs. Enjoy your your own deception in your deviant ways. You’re sickening!

To the asswipe who discovered an easy and amazing way to make and create stupid sums of money. Enjoy your wealth by yourself. I need not a penny from you or even a glance. Enjoy the dead presidents you love so much.

May they find there missing peace and sanity.

Then there are those that just simply have changed their path and have traveled it for their life time. There was never an issue there (with them) to begin with, just life taking them down a road not shared by me and my wife but themselves and their wife’s.
Miss you guys.
 
Outsder said:
Sadly yes, I have had to move on from a few. One was a good friend I had known for a number of years, and then he got married. Tried to adjust to the change and incorporated some couples activities, but his wife had to be in control all the time and was devious. On more than one occasion my friend and I had known plans to do something like go shooting or go racing, and as we were leaving her relatives arrive, as invited by her, and now all of sudden we're all going to lunch, and afterward "you boys can go do your thing." Not clueless, just in charge. My friend would apologize, but always go her way. There was no point in complaining about his wife's tricks, I had to let him go.
Click to expand...
I had a buddy like this. His wife was stupid dominant. When I’d visit, if he did something to displease her, which was a lot, very often, sometimes several time a night on the most pathetic things, she would ***** and belittle. She started to use me in a third party sense. “Why can’t you be a man like Rob, why can’t you make money like Rob, Robs sooooo cool, WFT happen with you?

I had enough and pulled her to the side and said it only once, “Don’t ever use me as an example again.”
So it was, never again.

Being such an Alfa female and having to be number one in everyone, she started in with me. She is crafty with her words and started to learn how to twist them and the subject matter around. I pulled my friend to the side and confronted him making damn sure he understood that ONLY because she was his wife, she is t getting a verbal hammering by me but it’s about to come to an end. He just was simply a coward.

Finally, I got mad because she got personal and started in on my marriage (which was perfect and still is awesomely great) where I turned around and told her that she had better be real careful on the next words coming out of her mouth because of her being incredibly offensive, that she is now standing on ground men don’t travel unless there looking for a fist fight and I don’t have a problem laying her the F out.

It was a good end to my vacation.
 
About 10 years ago I made myself a few New Year's resolutions, and for those people that haven't heard from me since - they were one of them.

I enjoy curious, self-reliant, and problem-solving people. That's my tribe. Self-absorbed people rarely posses those traits. They just talk until they think of something to say. Life is too damn short to listen to them.
 
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