Lost my Dad this week,

-
It's tough I know. My father passed on 2010, My sister in 2011, my invalid cousin that I was guardian over in 2012, my mom in 2014. And both my nieces have disowned me over material things after my sister died. I wish you the best of luck dealing with your brother. The evil that comes out of people after death over the material things is unbelievable! My condolences for your loss.
 
You have our deepest sympathy.
 
Very sorry for the loss of your Father !
It is one of the toughest things to go through.
You are blessec that your Dad had his affairs in order !
My brother and I lost our Dad 5 years ago.
As hard as it was , We were blessed enough to be with our Dad and hold his hand as he took his last breathe.
However for us the rest was a tradgedy to say the least !
He did not finish his will and through a technicality , we did not get any of his cars and other possessions that everybody knew were for us.
It was very painful to see stuff for sale at swap meets ect.
Not even our childhood photos or family heirlooms.
The fact remains , memories can never be stolen !
Peace be with you !
Hopefully if you are not close to your brother , this will inspire change.
 
So sorry for your pain and loss of your father. All I have to offer is advice from what I learned a few years ago. DON'T let material items get between a relationship with a loved one, especially your only brother. It's always the one who wasn't around for the tough times who shows up first to collect. Give him whatever he wants, you should pity him, he missed out on the last years of his father's life, you were blessed to be there until the end... that's worth more than material things.
 
Sorry for your loss. The pain will lessen with time but not go away entirely. If I think hard about what happened with my mom back in '81 it still makes me start to well up.

In the beginning of November of '81 my mom checked into the hospital for testing because she was coughing up blood, but otherwise feeling OK. A botched procedure left her gasping for breath and started a downhill spiral of her condition that left her brain dead and us having to make the extremely painful decision to pull the plug on life support. I wouldn't wish having to do that on anybody.

She died a few days before Thanksgiving on her birthday, she was just 58. It had been a terrible painful three weeks. We were lost, just kind of stumbling around in a fog making Thanksgiving dinner. It was tough trying to be thankful that year.

So hang in there, the pain will lessen in time, and treasure all the good memories that you have of time spent with him.
 
Sorry for your loss.. Yep, sat with my father while he was dying years ago. Sat with my husband 15 years ago while he passed away. Lost my mother in January. Death is never easy as we grieve for our loss of the future possibilities with ones we love. As for your brother, remember, stuff is only stuff, but the loss of friendship and memories can never be replaced.
 
Sorry for your loss. My dad passed nearly 30 years ago (he was 52 (complications from Type-2 Diabetes)). I still think about him everyday. It sounds cliche', but he will live on in your memories.
 
Sorry to hear this, my MOPAR brother. Prayers that God will bring you and your family the peace and comfort that only He can give.
 
My ,Condolence ..Hopefully,....you will will accept it ,with time....
 
gtgto said:
Good Point.....thanks for the condolences.....The last couple years of my fathers life were horrible for him and I was the guy....The only one he had for help except for his care who was a live in 24 hour care person. I did the food shopping and made sure his bills were all payed..He had worked his entire life and saved and invested so me and my brother who lives in Texas would have whatever that was left to split evenly. My bro never came to visit and I knew the only time he would come was when our father was in a casket. He comes to town and is already asking about possessions......really???....I'm one who likes to not make waves but I can see this turning into a bad situation quickly. I did everything that was needed to get done and my brother does not care about how much I did for our dad. My father did have a will and did leave us a 50 -50 split and I'm the executor which is a good thing.....I just want to have a relationship going forward with my only sibling.
Click to expand...
Ask yourself this question; do you want to keep in contact with your brother after all this? If not, you don't owe him squat! I commend you for wanting to keep things civil, but no need to put yourself last. And my deepest condolences to you and the family on your list at this sad time. You have a good heart, you'll do the right thing I'm sure.
 
Sorry for your loss. I watched dad slowly go in a year while in a nursing home. We did get him out a few times before he passed but I understand your pain from watching them go through a slow death.
 
My heart and lots of prayers go out to you my brother. I have lost a mother, father and two sisters to cancer. Still have a sister and two brothers to love and get alot of love back. My wife has been in a battle with breast cancer for 8 years now. she is doing fine and is determined to outlast me cause she thinks I'm incapable of looking after myself haha ( she may be right ) Cherish your family, 73 dart custom is 100% correct.
 
It does always seem that death of a loved one brings out the best in some and the worst in others. My brother had his Cherokee with lift gate opened and backed up to my Dad's door within an hour of Dad's death, emptying the place out without consulting any of the other six siblings! To this day (five years later), he talks to none of us. But keep that door open; he may yet walk through it with reconciliation in his heart one day. Peace, brother.
 
Sorry for your loss. It took me a long time to stop shedding tears when thinking of my Mom and Dad. Think of the good they left in your heart. That is what they would want. My prayers Steve
 
drpreposterous said:
It does always seem that death of a loved one brings out the best in some and the worst in others. My brother had his Cherokee with lift gate opened and backed up to my Dad's door within an hour of Dad's death, emptying the place out without consulting any of the other six siblings! To this day (five years later), he talks to none of us. But keep that door open; he may yet walk through it with reconciliation in his heart one day. Peace, brother.
Click to expand...
I have no idea what my brothers intentions are but he is staying here for a little while before he heads back to Texas. He is staying in the house we grew up in and that my father lived in. He can be digging in the backyard for all I know......hahaha....I'm pretty sure I have a good grasp of my Dads assets since I have been paying his bills and making sure he had food and liquid money to use to pay the bills. I can tell my brother has an agenda and it bothers my wife but I don't care at all....If anything when the splitting up of everything is over it might be my wife who has an ax to grind with my brother......I just want it all to go smoothly and the split to be even....Like I've heard.......I have all the times I spent with my father while he was healthy and alive and the other times I had with him helping him through the crappiest last 2 years of his life to look back on and smile about. He wasn't a part of the last couple years and it was something he chose and has to live and deal with for the rest of his life.
 
Last edited:
My condolences. You have the memories of your father, no one can take that from you.

I hope to go out with my boots on, but damn it hard to climb on that horse anymore!
 
You have my sympathy, my Dad passed last year, he and I were close, my life will never be the same, but we know that death is a part of life and can't be avoided, so you carry on. My brother and him had issues, but I realized I can't change him. Since you are in charge, you might make it clear that nothing is to be removed from the house by anyone, until after you finalize his estate, because that is more dignified.
 
gtgto said:
We had his wake yesterday and funeral today. It was a horrible week for sure. At least my father did not suffer and it was quick.I put one of my dogs down a couple months back and my dog was treated more humanely than my Dad, Has anyone else sat there waiting for someone to take there last breath? Hes now in a better place re united with my mother who passed 12 years ago.
Click to expand...
Lost my Dad a few years back and my Mother in 1996, I feel your pain. It's funny though, they always seem to be with you, guiding you when you're about to make a bad decision. My prayers are with you and your family.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
-

Back
Top