My Luck

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A woman was waiting to board a bus when she realized her skirt was too tight to lift her leg high enough to step onto the first step. Feeling a bit self-conscious, she smiled at the bus driver and reached behind to unzip her skirt slightly, hoping to create enough slack to step up.

However, her first attempt failed. With another polite smile, she tried unzipping her skirt a little more, but still, she couldn't manage the step. Frustrated yet determined, she gave it one last try, unzipping her skirt even further in hopes of finally getting on the bus.

At this point, a large Texan man standing behind her gently picked her up by the waist and placed her on the first step of the bus.

Shocked and outraged, the woman spun around and yelled, "How dare you touch me! I don’t even know who you are!"

The Texan, unfazed, tipped his hat with a grin and drawled, "Well, ma’am, normally I’d agree with you. But after you unzipped my fly three times, I figured we must be friends."
 
A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night, the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same s*xy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said, “Honey, do you remember this?”

He looked up at her and said, “Yes, dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married.”

She said, “That’s right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?”

He nodded and said, “Yes, dear, I still remember.”

“Well, what was it?” she asked.

He responded, “As I remember, I said, ‘Oh baby, I’m going to suck the life out of those big t*ts and screw your brains out.'”

She giggled and said, “Yes, honey, that’s exactly what you said. So, now it’s 50 years later, and I’m in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?”

Again, he looked up at her, and he replied, “Mission accomplished.”
 
Mark Wainwright said:
A woman was waiting to board a bus when she realized her skirt was too tight to lift her leg high enough to step onto the first step. Feeling a bit self-conscious, she smiled at the bus driver and reached behind to unzip her skirt slightly, hoping to create enough slack to step up.

However, her first attempt failed. With another polite smile, she tried unzipping her skirt a little more, but still, she couldn't manage the step. Frustrated yet determined, she gave it one last try, unzipping her skirt even further in hopes of finally getting on the bus.

At this point, a large Texan man standing behind her gently picked her up by the waist and placed her on the first step of the bus.

Shocked and outraged, the woman spun around and yelled, "How dare you touch me! I don’t even know who you are!"

The Texan, unfazed, tipped his hat with a grin and drawled, "Well, ma’am, normally I’d agree with you. But after you unzipped my fly three times, I figured we must be friends."
Click to expand...
:rofl: :rofl::rofl:
 
Mark Wainwright said:
A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night, the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same s*xy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said, “Honey, do you remember this?”

He looked up at her and said, “Yes, dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married.”

She said, “That’s right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?”

He nodded and said, “Yes, dear, I still remember.”

“Well, what was it?” she asked.

He responded, “As I remember, I said, ‘Oh baby, I’m going to suck the life out of those big t*ts and screw your brains out.'”

She giggled and said, “Yes, honey, that’s exactly what you said. So, now it’s 50 years later, and I’m in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?”

Again, he looked up at her, and he replied, “Mission accomplished.”
Click to expand...
:rofl: :rofl:
 
I was fired today thanks to Elon! My team was so close to solving how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop! $25 million down the drain! Now we will NEVER know!
 
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