My Wife Left Me Today -sucks

-
It will get better, it just takes time.
My 1st wife had to find herself, we had 2 boys and were married for only 3 years. When she left I was devastated but I would not let her take our boys.Turns out my best friend kicked his wife out and allowed mine to move in with him. Found this out by a 3am phone call from his wife. Went from 270lbs to 180lbs in no time (I'm 6'4) and couldn't understand what I did wrong.Well after some time I realised it wasn't my fault and I had kids that really needed me. After 14 years of making sure the boys were raised right (never dated since I never had time) my present wife walked into my life with her 2 boys. Now after 10 years of marriage I look back and am glad she did leave. I've heard she's on her 4th marriage and all have ended with her cheating. Make sure you keep your health up (eat and sleep) it will get. better.
 
You may find it hard to eat or lack of appetite.....ensure will help a lot,although it is a diet product it will give you the nutrients to keep your mind going and will help your appetite,try to eat any time you see something that look's appetising...If you have problem's sleeping....psalm's calm's and is kinda boring and will put you out like a lil kid with the washin machine runnin in the background.find acivities that you can do with the kid's that will keep your mind from wandering back to her,keep pictures of your kid's handy and look at the reason you move on.If you find anything that reminds you of her,pack it up and get it out of your site,give her anything that belongs to her and do it quick as you can and get as much of your life back as quick as you can......
 
Waggin yes i have lost 8 lbs in 5 days not good im running on empty feel weak ,no sleep im just taking one minute at a time my kids have been my backbone
thanks
 
Yea,I figured that and remembered what advice I had gotten,eating will help ease your mind,the ensure drink's will be a big help and you may find spicey food's to be more appetising,soup's will be easy to stomach even when you arent feeling hungry,so get to eating and it'll help as soon as you get the tummy full.....
 
Wow! I'm sorry! Man, chicks are great to look at, but anything more than that and they are just scary. I've been married for 10 years and I even wonder from time to time...?
 
71dustar said:
you're not the one losing out! just remember that.
Click to expand...


Yup, you're the prize. Don't let a women sucker you into believing her snatch is the prize. There are a lot of good men out there, and they unfortunately have to sift through a lot of slutbags before they find the right one :)

I really hope to meet the right one before I'm in an old folks home. :clock:
 
73dart360 said:
P fogel thats some good advice it seems harder at night when trying to go to sleep ive been up since 3 am i just wake up panicked and cant sleep im like a zomby during the day because im so tired ,i tried to find free counseling ,this here on FABO is what i needed all of these real life experiences and i appreciate it i am 47 yrs old she is 38 so i am feeling like im getting up there and i dont look like i did 4 yrs ago so my confidence and self esteem are at 0
i thank everyone for being so kind in this tough time.
Click to expand...
I sure do hope that this thought that you being 47 and not the man you was 4 years ago will pass :happy10:Invest in yourself and do some walking to build up your hart rate and appetite, I am sure you have some friends that would like some company 8) Nothing is better then being around folks and enjoy some conversation and good food :happy10:And a big smile from a sweet waitress or stranger :-D I am sure it is hard sometimes but give yourself a big smile or a laugh in the mirror when you are waking up to start your new day :happy10: stand tall and know you are a strong man and want to show your strength to your self :cheers: Dress up and let your boys "young men" see Dad moving with a new step in his life.
Yes I know this is a big step but a new hair cut and a new pair of jeans can go a long way in building your caricature back to where it was 4 years ago.
Take the boys out and shoot some pool and stand tall with a smile on and show your strength 8) Get out of the house as soon as you can and look at the world around you, Life can be a ***** some times but I am sure it could be worse. I pray that your spirit raises up for a new and better day today and your life starts today bud. :cheers:
Do you enjoy fishing ? I am very competitive when I fish and it takes my mind off all the BS going on around me that I don't have any control over,
Nothing like looking for that one big fish lurking in the water some where :-D
Just one more thing 73dart360, Move the furniture in your home and make it feel like your home, Take some pictures off the wall and take down the old clocks and replace them with your own :cheers: I hope and pray for the best for you and the boys, Get out and be some one my friend :happy10:
 
avarageerod said:
fregin facebook. some of my wifes family is going through the same thing because of facebook
Click to expand...

Cant blame facebook. Its no different than a bar or the shopping mall...or event this forum......a place where you can meet and talk to people.

Its like blaming Smith and Wesson for the murder that happened with one of their handguns in the 'hood last night.

If you are a cheater, you will cheat whether on facebook or at a bar or at the mall or at the end of the street or on this forum.

If you are not a cheater, you wont.

I am on facebook and just got in touch with my 8th grade girlfriend....my first "real" girfriend.....I checked with my wife of 13 years yesterday to be sure she was ok with my contacting her and she said "why would I care?" Grownups can have friends of the opposite sex with their being any hanky panky. God gave us human beings self-control.....its a pity more of us dont use it.

73Dart, hang in there man...better to find out now and not 10 years down the road, I say. You are better than her and deserve far better.
 
shadango said:
Cant blame facebook. Its no different than a bar or the shopping mall...or event this forum......a place where you can meet and talk to people.

Its like blaming Smith and Wesson for the murder that happened with one of their handguns in the 'hood last night.

If you are a cheater, you will cheat whether on facebook or at a bar or at the mall or at the end of the street or on this forum.

If you are not a cheater, you wont.

I am on facebook and just got in touch with my 8th grade girlfriend....my first "real" girfriend.....I checked with my wife of 13 years yesterday to be sure she was ok with my contacting her and she said "why would I care?" Grownups can have friends of the opposite sex with their being any hanky panky. God gave us human beinghs self-control.....its a pity more of us dont [sue] it.

73Dart, hang in there man...better to find out now and not 10 years down the road, I say. You are better than her and deserve far better.
Click to expand...

How much could you get?
 
My Sister in Law had the "next new guy disease".
She had a different, criminal boyfriend every week and always wondered why I would not let her bring any of them to my house even after several not too nice encounters from them.

It got to the point where I had to scream over her loud nagging mouth that I was tired of having to explain to these asswipes that my Sister in Law had more hands up her skirt than the freaking Muppets, and that I was tired of running people off with shotguns and threatening physical violence.

It's much nicer now that she is in jail.
 
cudaspaz said:
.... tired of having to explain to these asswipes that my Sister in Law had more hands up her skirt than the freaking Muppets,
Click to expand...

Now...that there is FUNNY...I dont care who you are...that **** is funny!
 
73dart360 said:
I have been with her for 4-1/2 years just got married last month we had a beautiful wedding everything was good next thing i know she signs up on Face book she gets her best friend from 23 years ago saying hi ,since that moment she changed she started talking to him often i told her i wasnt comfortable ,well come to find out in the time when they were best friends til now he served 9 yrs in prison for 2 counts of armed robbery she tells me last week she doesnt feel the same anymore and wants to move out , i was letting her stay til friday, she tells me her girlfriend called and wants her to go see her, i said go, no big deal, my son takes the dog for a walk and down on a dead end sees her car i walk up ,remember she was at her girl friends house she had been gone for over 2 hours (right) she was on the dead end in her car talking to him on her cell
I told her thats it get out tonight-i truly feel better now sorry for rambling just bumming a little.
Click to expand...

I feel for you man. All I can say is keep your hobbies going, lift weights, get a good sweat going, and use this "down" period and turn it into a positive by getting ripped and in shape. Then when you're ready, go hunting again.
 
shadango said:
Cant blame facebook. Its no different than a bar or the shopping mall...or event this forum......a place where you can meet and talk to people.
Click to expand...

I don't believe it's facebooks fault. People fell better when they have something blame. A liar is a liar, a thief is a thief and a tramp is a tramp.
 
I traded in the ex wife for three cars I couldnt own while with her,I enjoy the cars ALOT more than her.Mark
 
I was married just short of 30 yrs when the wife left. I was prepared to let her have her space, until the bills started arriving. Then I filed. I moved and changed the bank accounts. I also changed the beneficiary on my insurance. I left her our church of 20 years and the friends we made there. It has been difficult, even two years later. Yeah, I've also dropped 25 lbs.

Over the past two years, I have tried to be on the high ground. I've found a new church and joined the local Mopar club. For fun, I tinker on the car and watch movies. I'm also seeing a shrink (professionally). If my ex wants to start trouble, I'm content to just walk away. If I'm cornered, I make no threats, but plan to keep promises. Thankfully, there has been no issue there.

The thing I was most concerned about was that my ex would try to alienate our children from me. Thankfully, no one has taken sides or been asked to take sides.

It has taken me these past two years to get to a point where I am interested in meeting interesting women in a social context. After 30 years of monogamy, I don't have a clue where to start.

I don't know you, or the particulars of your circumstances. However, I wish you well. It is not an easy path to take, but others have gone before us and have come through the expierence changed, but ok. My faith and a handful of long-time trusted friends have helped me get through. I hope you have a support network as least as good as mine to help you make good decisions and navigate through the trials that come.
 
I've seen quite a few marriages fall apart in church.

The women want to tell the fellowship about the marital problems then the next thing you know......It's over and you see how you'd been judged out of the mix by people who didn't like you, or liked her a little too much.

This happened to a family member with HIS own church, except it was over his secretary, that he turned down, next thing you know she's telling everyone that he had impure thoughts for not telling his wife what happened [but why stirr up sht?] anyhow.....he left the church and his wife left him too.
 
I'm sure sorry to hear of your troubles, 73dart360. A similar thing happened to me, so I know what you're going through. I have a few suggestions that worked for me, so I'd like to pass them on.

Smoke a doob when you get depressed or anxious.

Spend quality time with your kids and be strong enough to give them the emotional support that they need. Don't let them see that you are suffering. Act like everything is just fine. They will feel a lot better, and you will gain a lot of self-respect by doing this because you will prove to yourself that you are strong.

Like a couple of other posters said, start lifting weights and get buffed. That will give you a good high, but combine this with hard bicycle riding to build your wind and stamina (lots easier on the knees than running.) This will lift your spirits a lot (creates beta endorphin and serotonin in your brain, which are the hormones that make you feel better). Splurge on a good bicycle if you don't already have one. It's amazing how much more fun a good, light bicycle is to ride than a cheap one. Pretty soon you will be lean AND buffed!

Be sure to eat a really good diet with plenty of veggies and legumes (beans). Your body needs 7 amino acids to fire on all its cylinders, and some of these you can only get from veggies and legumes. If you're eating a poor diet, which most people tend to do when they're depressed, that can be a cause of your depression all by itself.

Let yourself enjoy being single. It has a lot to offer. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and you don't have to pander to a woman's silly demands.

Good luck to you.
 
first of all, I am sorry to hear this. I don't know you from Adam, but I do understand the hurt and the feelings of self doubt and worthlessness.
I've been there.
Do your self a favor, cease contact, get a lawyer, and surround yourself with your family.
47, hell man, your prime meat for a decent woman. You're going to be looked at as having a job, a car, a house, and a future.

My ex left me with $10.00, the bank took $7.88 as a fee, that left me with $2.22. I went to White Castle and had dinner and never looked back.
Don't give up.
 
1/4 mile at a time or 1/8th. you`ll look back, years from now and see she did you a big favor. keep the faith
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
-

Back
Top