A
Al Bundy
Guest
Women are like rocks...the flat ones are easy to skip!
Needing a place to live......
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A
Al Bundy
Guest
Marriage is a three ring circus..engagement ring,wedding ring,suffering.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up once you let him in.
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens all over the world, son.
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds: Wife Wanted." The next day he received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up once you let him in.
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens all over the world, son.
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds: Wife Wanted." The next day he received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine
waggin
moving on ain't easy if you drive a Ford :p
^^^^^ 
ops:
ops:
waggin
moving on ain't easy if you drive a Ford :p
they say love is blind but marriage soon opens the eyes
A
Al Bundy
Guest
HaHa,aint that the truth! I try to learn from other peoples mistakes. Everyone I know who is married is unhappy,getting divorced or already divorced.
Marriage is all about women,it favors them legally and financially.the woman gains everything. A man give up a lot when he gets married and gains nothing. Seriously,why get married? you can just date them and if it doesnt work out you wont be paying alimony,losing your house and selling your cars.
The court reams out the guy nearly everytime and God help you if you were foolish enough to have kids with her because now you're gonna pay for the next 18 years and she can drag your stupid butt into court anytime she wants.
One time I was out at a restaraunt and overheard a bunch of women clucking away at the next table. One of them was getting married "even though she didnt love the guy" when one of the other women asked why,she replied "I can always divorce him if it doesnt work out and get half his ****". Any man who doesnt think women think this way is a fool.
Again why would any man marry anyway? there are plenty of women out there,just date the one you like,then if something goes wrong you go your seperate ways and find a newer bustier girl.
Marriage is all about women,it favors them legally and financially.the woman gains everything. A man give up a lot when he gets married and gains nothing. Seriously,why get married? you can just date them and if it doesnt work out you wont be paying alimony,losing your house and selling your cars.
The court reams out the guy nearly everytime and God help you if you were foolish enough to have kids with her because now you're gonna pay for the next 18 years and she can drag your stupid butt into court anytime she wants.
One time I was out at a restaraunt and overheard a bunch of women clucking away at the next table. One of them was getting married "even though she didnt love the guy" when one of the other women asked why,she replied "I can always divorce him if it doesnt work out and get half his ****". Any man who doesnt think women think this way is a fool.
Again why would any man marry anyway? there are plenty of women out there,just date the one you like,then if something goes wrong you go your seperate ways and find a newer bustier girl.
A
Al Bundy
Guest
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus
A
Al Bundy
Guest
Some more jokes
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day? simple it is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!
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Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home. The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face. He just looks at her and says, You dont scare me I am married to your sister!
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One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says Oh just a beer.The bartender asked the man Whats wrong,why are you so down today?.The man said My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she wouldnt talk to me for a month.The bartender said So whats wrong with that?The man siad Well the month is up tonight.
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day? simple it is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!
--
Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
--
There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home. The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face. He just looks at her and says, You dont scare me I am married to your sister!
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One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says Oh just a beer.The bartender asked the man Whats wrong,why are you so down today?.The man said My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she wouldnt talk to me for a month.The bartender said So whats wrong with that?The man siad Well the month is up tonight.
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A
Al Bundy
Guest
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
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A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
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A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
towtruckmikey
Well-Known Member
Thanks guys......... now can I get of the floor from laughing?
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Al Bundy
Guest
Big surprise a woman doesnt think the jokes about marriage are funny. I didn't write them,I got them off the same websites the other guys here did,you know,the ones you said were funny.
There is obviously an element of truth to these jokes,just as there are to the ones women post about men.
Typical modern mindset,if I don't like something it should be censored or banned.
There is obviously an element of truth to these jokes,just as there are to the ones women post about men.
Typical modern mindset,if I don't like something it should be censored or banned.
A
Al Bundy
Guest
By the way "CudaChick", what did you think of Seth MacFarlanes performance at the Oscars?
You don't know a thing about me but after reading a couple dozen of your posts I've learned quite a bit about you Al Bundy. The other posters in this thread are regulars who have been on board this forum for many years, they behave like gentlemen and have lots of respect for our female members, including me. I grew up in garages and pool halls with the boys and, for the most part, the men on FABO consider me "one of the guys." If I'm offended by your posts, then I can only imagine what the other ladies think of you.
I don't waste my time watching the Oscars, and never have. I have a shop to run ... my man expects me to make lots of money and keep him in a fashion he's unaccustomed to. :-D
Dart_Doctor
Asa style
Al You are bout to get in over your head ......... Far warning ........ good luck
A
Al Bundy
Guest
"CudaChick",You're right I don't know you,and you also don't know me. You also don't seem to understand that these are jokes,not personal attacks on anyone.I love girls..it's women I can't stand! (just kidding) The thread was started by a guy and the jokes are about guys and marriage.To be honest I didn't think there'd be any women here. I am sorry if you were offended by them,they came off the same sites the other members jokes did.
I guess you aren't a fan of Married With Children or you'd understand that many of my posts are satirical,they are jokes meant in an Al Bundy tone. Maybe you didn't get the humor but I have had several other members send me pm's thanking me for the laughs and telling me how funny the posts are.that it sounded really sounded like Al. Maybe you could go to the Al Bundy thread someone started here and give one of the episodes a try,its all in good fun.peggy takes shots at men and Al,Al takes shots at women and Peggy. I'm not offended when women make jokes about men. people used to have thicker skins years ago and werent so easily offended.when it comes to comedy everything should be fair game.
I am here because I recently bought a Duster and love the 67-69 Darts as well as other classic Mopars,the cudas,challengers,etc.
The thread was started by a guy and the jokes are about guys and marriage.To be honest I didn't think there'd be any women here. I am sorry if you were offended by them,they came off the same sites the other members jokes did. I guess you aren't a fan of Married With Children or you'd understand that many of my posts are satirical,they are jokes meant in an Al Bundy tone. Maybe you didn't get the humor but I have had several other members send me pm's thanking me for the laughs and telling me how funny the posts are.that it sounded really sounded like Al. Maybe you could go to the Al Bundy thread someone started here and give one of the episodes a try,its all in good fun.peggy takes shots at men and Al,Al takes shots at women and Peggy. I'm not offended when women make jokes about men. people used to have thicker skins years ago and werent so easily offended.when it comes to comedy everything should be fair game.
I am here because I recently bought a Duster and love the 67-69 Darts as well as other classic Mopars,the cudas,challengers,etc.
A
Al Bundy
Guest
:mumum:
HaHa! touché! Glad to know you've got a sense of humor too!
I don't usually watch the oscars either,but I had to see what havoc he'd wreak! He delights in pushing the envelope and offending everyone.
HaHa! touché! Glad to know you've got a sense of humor too!
I don't usually watch the oscars either,but I had to see what havoc he'd wreak! He delights in pushing the envelope and offending everyone.
A
Al Bundy
Guest
Hey man, You don't know who you're starting with. My advice to you would be to back off. CudaChick knows what she's doing and can handle herself. Just like Daisy Duke (Jessica Simpson) in the Dukes of Hazzard movie, in the bar scene. You will end up getting kicked out of your chair with a stilletto on your throat.....
irate:CudaChick is very cool with alot of friends here. Not to mention one of the best powdercoaters around. :glasses7:
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Al Bundy
Guest
"CudaChick" what about "Duckman"? Have you ever given that one a try? It's hilarious.
Here's one that's about the battle between the sexes,it shows both sides.
Exile in Guyville
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1coy8ORCIzY"]Duckman S3 E17 - Exile In Guyville - YouTube[/ame]
Here's one that's about the battle between the sexes,it shows both sides.
Exile in Guyville
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1coy8ORCIzY"]Duckman S3 E17 - Exile In Guyville - YouTube[/ame]
A
Al Bundy
Guest
Hey man, You don't know who you're starting with. My advice to you would be to back off. CudaChick knows what she's doing and can handle herself. Just like Daisy Duke (Jessica Simpson) in the Dukes of Hazzard movie, in the bar scene. You will end up getting kicked out of your chair with a stilletto on your throat.....
CudaChick is very cool with alot of friends here. Not to mention one of the best powdercoaters around. :glasses7:
Hi KrazyKuda,Read my post again.I'm not starting anything with her,I even apologized.this is just a joke thread. I don't know her,but I am sure she is cool,after all she loves Mopars,doesn't she?
Besides I certainly wouldn't want to get my sorry shoe saleman butt kicked by her,I already have a wife to do that.
Well, Bundy, we tried to tell you. Just keep pushin, You'll see..... :evil: :snakeman:
Go for it Cudachick, we got your back.... I'm sure that you can handle this on your own, but we're here if you need us....
I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy the show..... :happy1:
Dart_Doctor
Asa style
Sure you would call the pit bull in . Grrrrrr bark Just let go of the chain grrrrrrr bark
Hi KrazyKuda,Read my post again.I'm not starting anything with her,I even apologized.this is just a joke thread. I don't know her,but I am sure she is cool,after all she loves Mopars,doesn't she?
Besides I certainly wouldn't want to get my sorry shoe saleman butt kicked by her,I already have a wife to do that.
Ok. That's good.
We do have some women on this site and they are very cool. Not only does Cudachick like Mopars, she built her own 68 340 Barracuda.
We also have a middle eastern Indian woman on here that likes to put 440 4 speeds in her a-bodies. She's done more than one of them herself.
I love to see women who can turn a wrench and not worry about getting greasy. Unlike "normal" women, I can talk to them about cars and they can understand what I'm talking about, and not be bored. Ya gotta respect that.... :toothy10:
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