Respectfully request advice as newly divorced dad

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I got divorced like 25 years ago, it was rough for the next 20 years.
We had two girls. I would take them as much as I could, every two weeks, court orders, an any time extra.
Anyways, I kept every receipt, of things I bought for the kids before the divorce was final.
Never gave "her" any cash but found out later she was taking the diapers, and cloths back to the store, that I had bought for the girls for cash.
I was pissed off bad, so bad nothing went to her with any price tag ect.

At the divorce in front of the Judge she lied and said I never provided anything.
Receipts were shown, made her look like a ***.
Judge was one of the hardest in the state on males who entered his court, but he sided with me.
He went easy on me, I paid my child support.
When the youngest reached 18, I showed her the new Challenger I bought, I told her the payment was cheaper than the child support I paid her mom.
So how much did you receive from the money I spent? My daughter replied with "that bit*h"

The Judge was so women biased, some dude shot him later, because of his female biased decisions.
He actually admitted in the newspaper after he recovered from being shot, he may have been female bias, because his mom was divorced and raised him, and he would be rethinking some of his previous decisions.
 
That’s messed up because he was Compromised and biased and allowed to practice law in that position. He himself should be sued. But unfortunately, he couldn’t possibly pay back the balances of money owed to all the men he fucked over the years. Unfortunate that there’s not enough jail time for him.
 
I have a buddy goin through this right now. Is it me or is it more the woman losing there mind and causing or wanting the divorce?
 
rumblefish360 said:
That’s messed up because he was Compromised and biased and allowed to practice law in that position. He himself should be sued. But unfortunately, he couldn’t possibly pay back the balances of money owed to all the men he fucked over the years. Unfortunate that there’s not enough jail time for him.
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Like I said, I had my receipts where I had provided for my kids.
I told the Judge that just because "we are getting divorced, does not relieve either of us from being parents"
I not sure if that one statement changed my outcome, but he took it easy on me.
I think it also sunk into my ex, because she never tried to take me back to court for more child support etc, maybe because she knew it would be in front of the same judge she had lied to.
 
I do think more women are walking. Life is hard. Many people don’t or can’t put In the effort so they quit. People expect it to be a Disney fairy tale. But life isn’t like that. Add some mental illness (as was my ex’s case) and eject was pulled
 
69moredoor said:
I do think more women are walking. Life is hard. Many people don’t or can’t put In the effort so they quit. People expect it to be a Disney fairy tale. But life isn’t like that. Add some mental illness (as was my ex’s case) and eject was pulled
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Women have choices, at just about any age someone will always want them. As they age the choices get slim. Men, they can be old but if they have $$$ they can get a woman. Doesn't work the same for men. Women don't want or have to put up with hard times, they, for example wont live in a van by the river,even if it is temporary.

They will say they love you because they think thats what you want to hear, very few actually do or should I say they can turn it on and turn it off. Ihave been with mine for far too many years,she knows me so when I came home recently talking about buying another A body,there wasn't any argument. She knows me by now. i told her my plans,and she knows i wont spend the money if i dont have it. Now when i bought my first A body 26 years ago, the ex was pregnant with my son, still I wasnt spending the rent money. What I heard was, 'were having a child why would you buy that old car???" It was an argument,and short version is part of the reason she is now my ex. Moredoor you mention mental illness, it would be hard pressed to get a woman to admit it or go for help. Some women are never wrong ;)
 
krazykuda said:
Next time around, just go to a bar and pick up a gorgeous woman that you can't stand... Have sex with her a few times, then give her your house...

It's gong to end that way anyway, and you will avoid the hassle of getting married and divorced... You will save all of the court and attorney fees and be that much further ahead....
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A bottle of lotion and imagination are lots cheaper.
 
^ I think back on the women I have known and each of them were worth the aggravation. I suppose I haven't been cleaned out too bad, but I have been lucky I suppose. Only ever had one child. Nothing like a woman...I could never give up on them totally Ill be an old coot still chasing after them :)
 
Sorry to hear this, divorce is never easy no matter how it goes when kids are involved. I have been through this and get to see my kids 50/50 and it’s still tough. But my ex and I communicate good and get along real good and we are both civil especially when it comes to the kids. We have both moved on in life but it takes time to get going again. I’m sorry your daughter was taken away by her and you can’t easily see her, that’s not right at all and is enough to make any man cry his eyes out....

There is lots of good advise given by members here and not sure I can add much more, just keep your head up and work hard to get through this and be the best dad you can be....I’ll say some prayers for you and hope you get to see your girl again soon, take care bud
 
A friend just went through same thing his wife took his daughter to California from San Antonio. According to his lawyer that was kidnapping and she could not legally do that. She wanted to go back to California but even after the divorce she could not move out of state with their daughter.
 
Best thing that ever happened to me, but the worst thing ever for the kids. I was numb for a year, and took another year to figure out that not all women were like the ex. Start looking around to see if it was planned. My ex had to have planned her "escape" for over year. I'd hate to say what nasty stuff she pulled. Don't get a whimp lawyer. Always take the high road. God is everything. Money is nothing. Raising children is your responsibility. Make sure your daughter knows how much you love her and want to be with her. If your wife was cheating on you, it is war. No quarter. Married a wonderful woman second time around. Nothing better in this life than to have a partner and best friend in everything you do.
 
RustyRatRod said:
I was wonderin where you were. dork.
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Well I saw this the other day ...and I was just trying to stay away from the deep and dark. All I have to say on a serious note.. is I get my kids for the summer and most holidays. These things are always hard on the kids because they don't get the balance they need all the time and have to switch gears..."the world from the perspective of a mom and dad"
No matter what happens, as parents... we got to put on a stellar performance, solo ...or as a team. Role models are very important.
 
MOPAROFFICIAL said:
Well I saw this the other day ...and I was just trying to stay away from the deep and dark. All I have to say on a serious note.. is I get my kids for the summer and most holidays. These things are always hard on the kids because they don't get the balance they need all the time and have to switch gears..."the world from the perspective of a mom and dad"
No matter what happens, as parents... we got to put on a stellar performance, solo ...or as a team. Role models are very important.
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Yup. Just don't go callin nobody a peter puffer in front of um. lol
 
Thank you
Thank you
thank you everyone!!!!!!!!!

Am working at it.
No significant news yet.
Am keeping my guard up, no trust yet but anyways
Wife is acting compliant, helpful, friendly, cooperative, etc.
I will return your investment of help with an update as soon is one (never had any privacy as a submariner anyways)
Child is happy at grandmas and her Advanced school is aligned For the fall.
Best luck or blessing out of all of this is that I sign for house in the spring 6 months AFTER this separation soon to be divorce.
 
66fs said:
Best thing that ever happened to me, but the worst thing ever for the kids. I was numb for a year, and took another year to figure out that not all women were like the ex. Start looking around to see if it was planned. My ex had to have planned her "escape" for over year. I'd hate to say what nasty stuff she pulled. Don't get a whimp lawyer. Always take the high road. God is everything. Money is nothing. Raising children is your responsibility. Make sure your daughter knows how much you love her and want to be with her. If your wife was cheating on you, it is war. No quarter. Married a wonderful woman second time around. Nothing better in this life than to have a partner and best friend in everything you do.
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This is very similar to how it went for me....she had things planned....a place to go and live, new things like beds, furniture, kitchen stuff....all stored somewhere else till the time came to break the news to me. Later on I didn’t want anything to do with women for awhile, dated a couple crazy ones, but then I met the most wonderful caring woman ever when I wasn’t even looking and we have been married for almost 2 years now....and the kids are all doing great and that’s good cause it’s always hard on them
 
Hopefully she doesn't know she can get some of your retirement...

That always concerned me if it's true. I never asked an attorney.
 
66fyssh said:
Hopefully she doesn't know she can get some of your retirement...

That always concerned me if it's true. I never asked an attorney.
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The way it works here is, Yes, but! Only entitled for the years married, not the total amount after the divorce.

Married 3 years, entitled to 3 years worth of the retirement for her life. Work 30 years, she gets a percentage. 3/30.
 
Once upon a time a prince asked a beautiful princess “Will you marry me?” The princess said no. And the prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and bounced cute skinny girls and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank beer, Jack Daniel´s and Captain Morgan and drank the milk from the box and never heared bitching and went to rock concerts and kept his appartment and his favourite jeans and never got cheated on while working and his family and his friends thought he was very cool as hell and had tons of money & left the toilet seat up. THE END
 
My backstory. I was married to a magnificent woman for 22 years, taken all too soon by cancer. We had no kids. So that makes me in the grand scheme of things, poorly qualified to offer advice on your situation. However, I know many, many friends and acquaintances who are in your shoes. You have had lots of good advice here, I would add some emphasis. Get the best lawyer you can find. You don't want a touchy-feely pussy, you want a stone-cold pit bull that will look after your interests. This is not about being nice because whatever your history was, it's about winning. Have no doubt the wife will be playing for keeps. You need to do the same. Document EVERYTHING. Every conversation and interaction with date, time, and what you said/what she said. If you can do so via email or some other medium that can be printed off, so much the better. Send all funds via a method that can be tracked, proven, and documented. Don't lull yourself into complacency thinking everything will work out OK, establish your position and dig in to get a good outcome. I know far too many guys who got screwed by a wife who talked nice and played dirty, leaving them wrecked for many, many years. Best of luck with this. It can be disheartening to have to face this stuff, but failure to do so can easily make you the loser. I wish you the best as you work through this.
 
66340SEDAN said:
This is very similar to how it went for me....she had things planned....a place to go and live, new things like beds, furniture, kitchen stuff....all stored somewhere else till the time came to break the news to me. Later on I didn’t want anything to do with women for awhile, dated a couple crazy ones, but then I met the most wonderful caring woman ever when I wasn’t even looking and we have been married for almost 2 years now....and the kids are all doing great and that’s good cause it’s always hard on them
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Funny thing, now that you mention it, One of my friends wanted me for a "wingman" going to bars. After about a month of that, I gave up and thought I was safe from women. Went cowboy action shooting every month, went to the local drag strip with another friend, Drove the kids every summer in a MOPAR out to SD to stay a couple weeks with my father in a small town of 1,000 people. Then, like you "I met the most wonderful caring woman ever when I wasn’t even looking" and we have been married for over 24 years now. One kid turned out great, the youngest was messed up, but finally coming out OK, the third has always been goofy but I blame that one on her genes.
 
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