Step Daughter problems (need advise)

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if you catch the single mother before the child is in school. Then it is a bit easier because you have been around all his/her life
just my .02
 
It almost does no good to charge her rent or anything like that when she does have a job because the wife just covers for her and is definately the enabler by letting her piss her money away when she is suppose to be saving for a car and her own place but its hard to save when you dont have a job and its no concern to try to find one. She goes on the computer and fills out one app and the wife thinks that thats good enough and she really trying. Its just a really bad situation and I'm about to my snapping point. Thats what it came to last time when I kicked her out and theres been no change since shes been back home again. Just puts a real strain on the marriage
 
Try to explain to your wife that you cannot tolerate this anymore and stress to her that her enabling her daughter is doing more harm than good. Give your stepdaughter the final ultimatium, either you get a job and pull your self together or next time there is ANYTHING missing from YOUR home you are going to not only call the police but also press charges against her. This may cause your wife to go apeshit on you but hey, YOU NEED TO DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO!!! No other options at this point. Spell it out point blank to your wife that it may come down to either she wants you in her life or her sorry assed daughter. You really do not have many other options at this point. Good luck and keep us posted.
 
Thanks dustermaniac, I wish when I had the extra $2500 I would of got my street lynx rear suspension and wilwood rear disc kit. Instead I bought her car #2 which was completely trashed and in the junkyard within 7 months, like a slap in the face, I think that was Gods way of telling me I was a bumb ***. But I agree with ya 100% and its gonna come down to either the daughter leaving or me leaving. It may sound kinda harsh but thats about what its come down to.
 
Sharko said:
Thanks dustermaniac, I wish when I had the extra $2500 I would of got my street lynx rear suspension and wilwood rear disc kit. Instead I bought her car #2 which was completely trashed and in the junkyard within 7 months, like a slap in the face, I think that was Gods way of telling me I was a bumb ***. But I agree with ya 100% and its gonna come down to either the daughter leaving or me leaving. It may sound kinda harsh but thats about what its come down to.
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You are a great man! I would've lost it right then and there
 
Sounds like the wife needs to step up to the plate as well.

Its hard to turn ones back on their own child........................ Sounds as if ya'll have done for this disrespectfull child with no return results. Investments over time mature, some times people don't, no matter how long you wait........Good money after bad
 
I feel for you. I just went thru a bunch of drama with my step son.
He has been out of high school since 08 and has yet to hold a job. He did join the Army, was gone for awhile and managed to get put out. He just refused to train. The freaking US Army couldn't threaten him to do the right thing!
He sits in his room and plays video games all night and sleeps all day. He socializes with no one, unless they are on the X-box 360. He will talk to people there, but no where else. You have to tell him to bathe, to put his laundry away, to do anything around the house. He won't hit a lick unless he's told to do it, several times. My wife enables him and it's caused a lot of problems between us.
I haven't said anything about it here, but I've been having some heart issues.
I've had a few heart attacks lately. Anyway, two Friday's ago, I had just been released from the hospital, my daughter made a comment to him about shoveling snow and not letting me do it. He got pissed off and took a swing at me. I went nuts and beat the **** out if him. He actually called the cops on me. They basically told him it would be self defense and he'd go to jail for assault. I didn't press charges because I knew my wife would bail him out and pay to defend him.
He's out of the house and I don't want him back. I don't trust him.
My wife actually got mad at me because I defended myself. She said I shouldn't have beat him because I out weigh him by 80lbs. I told her my fat, old, bad heart having *** whipped her son. I wasn't bragging, but didn't like that my wife was defending his actions. Told me she couldn't believe I was going to make her chose between her child or me. The kid has been out of the house and I haven't seen him. My wife won't say much about him to me. I guess she's helping support him still. I do know that his Dad wouldn't let him stay with him.
My wife wouldn't talk to me or sleep with me for 5 days after. I finally told her we were a partnership or we weren't. And if we weren't then it starts right now, she needed to leave. I wasn't living with someone who hated me.
I don't know what the answer really is. My son and step son are just a few months apart, raised the same way since they were 8. They are world apart. My son is enrolled in college, has worked since he was 15. Still driving the same car I gave him when he was 16, and is generally a good kid. So it's not environment, and my son likes to play video games with his friends too. I don't know if we fucked up somewhere, or what the problem is. I do feel your pain, I know what you guys are putting up with, to a point. I guess I'm lucky, he's too lazy to get a girl friend to get pregnant. I'm sure I'd be raising that kid too.
I can't suggest anything anyone else hasn't, I've tried it and it doesn't work. But you know that.
I've decided that I've had enough. I'm to the point that I'm willing to walk away from the whole situation. I'm willing to give up my house and everything in it. I'll just buy a new one. It's worth it at this point.
Good luck my man.
 
Here's the most important part...and one I believe that a ton of people either forget, or never learn. The Bible says we are suppose "forsake all others" in regards to your spouse. Now, I ain't tryin to preach here, don't take it like that. Whether you believe or not, that is good sound logical thinking. It doesn't mean to turn your back on everyone else. It simply means to make your spouse THE most important next to God. So many people get so caught up in their children and their grandbabies like they are the end all be all. It just ain't so. That one you promised to love and honor and cherrish when you put each others rings on is what's important.
 
It just really sucks when you dont even want to leave your own house in fear of something coming up missing or broken. I don't make that much money as it is being on disability because of my crohns disease but I do have a few different jobs that pay me cash. Its taken me my whole life to accumulate all the nice things I have at the age of 35 and I finally got my garage all hooked up and a new welder and alot of nice tools and a nice 65 Barracuda project car. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let this little girl ruin everything I've worked so hard to get.

Any new pics of your barracuda Roger I love your build its similar to what I would like to do with mine.
 
Sharko said:
Any new pics of your barracuda Roger I love your build its similar to what I would like to do with mine.
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I've been slacking here lately on updating the build, heading home in a day or two, will have new ones up in about a week. Getting close.........OKaaayyyy seeing as your having such a crappy time, a quick one from last trip home.:thumleft:
 

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gunbunny said:
I feel for you. I just went thru a bunch of drama with my step son.
He has been out of high school since 08 and has yet to hold a job. He did join the Army, was gone for awhile and managed to get put out. He just refused to train. The freaking US Army couldn't threaten him to do the right thing!
He sits in his room and plays video games all night and sleeps all day. He socializes with no one, unless they are on the X-box 360. He will talk to people there, but no where else. You have to tell him to bathe, to put his laundry away, to do anything around the house. He won't hit a lick unless he's told to do it, several times. My wife enables him and it's caused a lot of problems between us.
I haven't said anything about it here, but I've been having some heart issues.
I've had a few heart attacks lately. Anyway, two Friday's ago, I had just been released from the hospital, my daughter made a comment to him about shoveling snow and not letting me do it. He got pissed off and took a swing at me. I went nuts and beat the **** out if him. He actually called the cops on me. They basically told him it would be self defense and he'd go to jail for assault. I didn't press charges because I knew my wife would bail him out and pay to defend him.
He's out of the house and I don't want him back. I don't trust him.
My wife actually got mad at me because I defended myself. She said I shouldn't have beat him because I out weigh him by 80lbs. I told her my fat, old, bad heart having *** whipped her son. I wasn't bragging, but didn't like that my wife was defending his actions. Told me she couldn't believe I was going to make her chose between her child or me. The kid has been out of the house and I haven't seen him. My wife won't say much about him to me. I guess she's helping support him still. I do know that his Dad wouldn't let him stay with him.
My wife wouldn't talk to me or sleep with me for 5 days after. I finally told her we were a partnership or we weren't. And if we weren't then it starts right now, she needed to leave. I wasn't living with someone who hated me.
I don't know what the answer really is. My son and step son are just a few months apart, raised the same way since they were 8. They are world apart. My son is enrolled in college, has worked since he was 15. Still driving the same car I gave him when he was 16, and is generally a good kid. So it's not environment, and my son likes to play video games with his friends too. I don't know if we fucked up somewhere, or what the problem is. I do feel your pain, I know what you guys are putting up with, to a point. I guess I'm lucky, he's too lazy to get a girl friend to get pregnant. I'm sure I'd be raising that kid too.
I can't suggest anything anyone else hasn't, I've tried it and it doesn't work. But you know that.
I've decided that I've had enough. I'm to the point that I'm willing to walk away from the whole situation. I'm willing to give up my house and everything in it. I'll just buy a new one. It's worth it at this point.
Good luck my man.[/QUOTE

Ya when I kicked her out the first time I smacked her across the mouth for the way she was talking to her mom and I,and she got all pissed off telling me I wasn't her dad and I replied your dam right I'm not your dad I take care of you and I'm not a drunk piece of **** thats in and out of jail for beating up women. A real man your dad is. So I kicked her out and put all her **** in garbage bags and set it out on the porch. And told her to have a nice life. 8 months later shes begging to come back home after she burnt all her bridges. Now shes been back home for a few months now and its back to the same old ****. It's about time to kick her to the curb and change the locks again. It just amazes me at how my step son is the complete opposite. good grades in school, helps around the house,very respectful and loves to help me out in the garage. Just a great kid all around.
Click to expand...
 
65BCODA said:
I've been slacking here lately on updating the build, heading home in a day or two, will have new ones up in about a week. Getting close.........OKaaayyyy seeing as your having such a crappy time, a quick one from last trip home.:thumleft:
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Lookin good Roger you just made my day a little more bearable
Thanks Roger and looking forward to them new pics next week.
 
zigs said:
Tuff love. Take her *** down to a recruter and sign her up, works wonders.
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X2 I would say either Air Force or Navy, but if she really can't get her crap together as you say, Army can fix that.
 
Gotta agree with zigs,no excuses.It doesn't get better.ADHD and Bi-Polar are just excuses.i wouldn't tolerate that crap at my house,straighten up and work or get out.
 
No she's perfectly healthy, no mentel or physical issues besides stupidity.
I agree 100% she definately needs a rude awakening.
 
If I were you, I would try logically talking to her about the military. she could turn life AROUND if she did that. Thing is, they have to sign willingly. Also.....since the war(s) are not at the forefront any longer, it is more difficult to get in now than it once was. Waiting lists are common. If she does not have a high school diploma....even if she has a GED, that will put her in the back of the line.....and without either, she is sunk. They will slam not take her. If she's not careful, she will turn around in ten years living out of a cardbox. That's what my 20 year old son is doing right now. It's cold tonight too.
 
Family counseling would be worthwhile IMO. Even if your step-daughter refuses to go, a counselor can explain what's really going on and get you and your wife on the same page. A counselor should be able to help you out...the way things are going is not good for any of you.
 
I took my step son down to the Recruiter. He went all the way thru basic training, right up to the last week and then just sat down. Refused to do anything.
They sent his *** home.
I've tried the therapist and counseling. He refused to talk. Both tried to get him to speak, he refused.
To top things off, my brother in law just told me he's been helping my step son. He's told me that after a week, he's sick of him.
I'm hoping that stress from other family members becomes a motivator.
But, I have my doubts.
I don't mean to hi-jack, but I'll let you know if anything come of it.
 
No experience here myself, but I watched a good friend go through a similar situation with his step daughter (even down to the trashing the car and missing stuff part). After watching his experience, I agree with those that say your wife Must be on board 100% with whatever action you take. If she's not behind you on this, it will be you against your wife and step daughter. It will drive a wedge between you and your wife. In my friend's case, the marriage ended in divorce for just that reason.
I wish you luck with your situation.
 
My opinion don't hate i would sit your ole lady down and have a talk tell her whats on your mind and your plans for the freeloader and end it with get on board or don't let the door hit her in the *** on the way out too,that might wake her up. I've told my ole lady numerous times i'm the bread winner here you don't work and bring income into this home so i'm the boss [most of the time] if you don't like it theres the door hit it she's still here.I don't have your problem both my boys work pay their bills buy their food paying for their college ect.
 
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