My Luck

-
Mark Wainwright said:
Dorothy and Edna, two 'senior' widows, are chatting.

Dorothy says, "That nice George Johnson asked me out on a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna responds, "Well, I'll tell you. He showed up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brought me beautiful flowers! Then he took me downstairs, and there was a luxury car waiting—a limousine with a uniformed chauffeur and all. He took me out for a marvelous dinner: lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we went to see a show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure!

So then we’re coming back to my apartment, and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me twice!"

Dorothy exclaims, "Goodness gracious! ...so you're telling me I shouldn't go out with him?"

Edna replies, "No, no, no! I'm just saying, wear an old dress."
Click to expand...
:lol: :lol:
 
IMG_0761.jpeg
 
That's terrible down in Florida. We have friends that live there.
Their power has gone out several times and a tree came down and just missed their garage.
I heard but don't know if it's true that some insurance companies are just walking away.
 
Mark Wainwright said:
That's terrible down in Florida. We have friends that live there.
Their power has gone out several times and a tree came down and just missed their garage.
I heard but don't know if it's true that some insurance companies are just walking away.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
71GSSDemon said:
Get outside everyone

View attachment 1716314053

View attachment 1716314054

View attachment 1716314055

View attachment 1716314056

View attachment 1716314057

View attachment 1716314058
Click to expand...
That right there is my entire bucket list

Legend has it that the northern lights are visible when the door of heaven is left ajar

If it stays open all night that means a sinner has been forgiven and can now enter heaven

I know, lousy theology, but a lot better story then particles bouncing off of magnetic fields
 
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant. "Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

461745880_496076473414722_8795880314519684941_n.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
-

Back
Top