Respectfully request advice as newly divorced dad

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Set up direct deposit from your employer to her for any scheduled money/support you agree to or the court decides on. Then you will have documentation of support to cover yourself.

IMO, do not let the state garnish your wages, ever. Seen them screw it up too many times, for both parties.

Been through two divorces, it's never completely easy.
 
sireland67 said:
I got divorced like 25 years ago, it was rough for the next 20 years.
We had two girls. I would take them as much as I could, every two weeks, court orders, an any time extra.
Anyways, I kept every receipt, of things I bought for the kids before the divorce was final.
Never gave "her" any cash but found out later she was taking the diapers, and cloths back to the store, that I had bought for the girls for cash.
I was pissed off bad, so bad nothing went to her with any price tag ect.

At the divorce in front of the Judge she lied and said I never provided anything.
Receipts were shown, made her look like a ***.
Judge was one of the hardest in the state on males who entered his court, but he sided with me.
He went easy on me, I paid my child support.
When the youngest reached 18, I showed her the new Challenger I bought, I told her the payment was cheaper than the child support I paid her mom.
So how much did you receive from the money I spent? My daughter replied with "that bit*h"

The Judge was so women biased, some dude shot him later, because of his female biased decisions.
He actually admitted in the newspaper after he recovered from being shot, he may have been female bias, because his mom was divorced and raised him, and he would be rethinking some of his previous decisions.
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My ex did this. She moved cross country shortly after the Divorce( With My Blessing even though it took my kids away) At Christmas I would send them some things they wanted an 5 Pair of Levi's each. One year I asked my oldest how he liked the Levi's. He said " Levi's!!", al we ever got was Sears plain pocket jeans. She was unwrapping the presents and taking the Levi's back and trading them for the plain pockets and pocketing the difference.Also found out later she told them "See your cheap *** Dad couldn't even send good jeans ". She also tried the old "He never sent any money" ( I did owe her some back child support which I paid) and took me to Court. Didn't plan on me having documentation. Even Her own Attorney was pissed at her.
 
greymouser7 said:
The wife left, took my daughter, hid/dumped thousands of debt.

After getting upset initially, my highest priority is getting my daughter back into my life.

Right now they are both 1053 miles away at her parents.

I asked the wife to move back to the city (San Antonio) and she said she would eventually-she even promised to pay back debt.

With the deception of hiding debt, I don’t trust her, but have been completely kind/amicable in order to facilitate any kind of compromise.

We haven’t mentioned a lawyer, just bills, child’s schooling, visitation (to include that she offered to buy me plane tickets)

So my thought process is to supplement her income some, but have her sign over debt that she has accrued.

From what I understand, men have given ex wives credit cards to which the court did NOT recognize as child support, and am thinking that a direct payment of her vehicle, her student loan, etc. will not count as support if it comes to that.

So I guess I need to document money given to her, play nice, and work towards a plan of them moving back (if that is really a thing)

I am at a loss as to what things I should do so I am asking for help. Please and thank you!
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Update

Paid off $17,000 in debt accrued in marriage.

Just today I won split custody (50/50) of our child. The ex took our child out of state away from me earlier (after these posts, earlier this year).

No alimony. No child support. Divorce is over. Expensive. But kid worth it.

I had this philosophical belief that the greatest and worst thing a soul could do would be to bring another life into this world. If we do not discipline them, prepare them for the evils and tribulations of this life, then they could succumb to evil and perpetuate evil onto others. Or they could become people that help others and the common cause of mankind. I have won one more battle to be relevant in my child's life and am grateful to all here whom support me and for all the prayers.
 
pittsburghracer said:
Be glad you don’t live in Pa. I had 50/50 shared custody and still had to pay 750.00 a month.
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She started smoking marijuana, multiple boyfriends while married, committed many infractions that the courts take into consideration. Those infractions swayed favor my direction. I AM glad-elated really.
 
greymouser7 said:
She started smoking marijuana, multiple boyfriends while married, committed many infractions that the courts take into consideration. Those infractions swayed favor my direction. I AM glad-elated really.
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In Pa you can do the whole football team, live with a guy addicted to drugs, and show proof of paperwork. Courts in Pa could care less.
 
Last edited:
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are the difference between having children and raising children. Now your child has a chance.
 
It’s been mentioned already
Talk to a Lawyer. ASAP
Don’t talk to her
Don’t do anything stupid.
She abandoned you and took your daughter.
Did she cross state lines?
File with the child support/custody/visitation court in your city then she will need to come back for court hearings.
First and foremost
Your daughter comes FIRST
Everything you do-you are doing with your daughter’s welfare in mind
Do you know how she feels about the situation?
Be careful, don’t put down your wife in her presence.
Also, be prepared that the your wife and in-laws might turn her against you
Just be a father to your daughter
Her welfare comes first

Ask me how I know
 
greymouser7 said:
She started smoking marijuana, multiple boyfriends while married, committed many infractions that the courts take into consideration. Those infractions swayed favor my direction. I AM glad-elated really.
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****, you would still be paying child support in new jersey..
 
Congratulations. You're a good man. Your daughter will be in good hands when she is with you.
 
I certainly wish you well. I hope you two are in such a position that you can actually get care of your kids without a bunch of nonsense.
 
If you are responsible for debt, she took on I would consider bankruptcy, but as said above see a lawyer for details. I know Texas used to be a community property state.
 
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