Things your Dad used to say.

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When I was a teenager listening to the radio (later 80's 90's Rock) Pops would say, Turn that **** down,it's giving me a headache,
My reply, it's not bothering me,
His reply, Small brain,no pain!
Gone since 2014.....still miss you Pops.
 
“The easy way is very seldom the right way.”
“You get what you pay for”
“You’ll get what ya get and don’t ***** about it!”

All sound advice that I pass on to my kids.
 
My maternal grandfather and my stepfather provided most of mine. My stepfather would say them in German (how he first learned them), and if he wasn’t ready to strangle me, he would repeat them in English.
1. To soon old and too late smart.
2. Born dumb and stayed that way.
3. About as useful as a 5th wheel on a wagon.
4. The difference between (insert a name here) and a bucket of **** is the bucket!
5. Gott Verdamt, Junge! (GD, Kid!)
6. Pick a series of German cuss words and follow that with, “Don’t you understand English!”
7. Colder than a well driller’s ***.
8. Raining as hard as a cow pissing on a flat rock.
9. An aggressive farm animal (or person) was “full of piss and vinegar.”
10. And when he really had enough of my bright ideas, the last phrase was “Bullshit, Robert!”
 
After telling me to get busy doing chore or whatever, I would reply, "I am." His response would be , "I know you am!" Oooohh, that used to boil my blood! :) Miss my Dad.
 
My Step-dad's advice regarding the fairer sex......

"Don't date anyone you wouldn't marry. Don't marry anyone you wouldn't date! Things happen! Babies happen!"

"A woman is like a frying pan, Son. Make sure she's good and hot before you throw in the meat!"

What then, Papa?

"Then you make like a Marathon bar and last a good long time!"

HB
 
My dad had alot of sayings. He's gone now , but I can still remember some of them. Like
He , she , they , you or someone always needed to "Pull their head out of their ***." Lol.
 
Another one from my stepfather I have passed on to my kids...
“Never date anyone more screwed up than you are.”
 
“Don’t be a pansy.”
“They’re a bunch of pansies.”
“You’v Got to work on your selfdispline.”
Grandfather-
“Think before you do something, think it through.”
“You have TWO ears, & one mouth, Listen!”
“Follow the money.”
I stand in between him and the tv-“You’ve Been drinkin’ muddy water.”
“Couldn’t find his way out of a wet paperbag.”
“Couldn’t find his *** in the dark with flashlight.”??

“Don’t put tools on top of the tire.”-(on the tractor tire out on the ranch) “you plant ten tools, I’ll be lucky to harvest one”-I had a bad habit.

At 8-9 years old: Here’s the safety, Don’t point the gun at other people, the road, or the house. Know/see what your shootin’. Here’s a box of bullets, be back before lunch. Watch for snakes. Lunch is at noon.” -Told the same thing, many days that weren’t burdened by chores. Either a 410 or pump 22. Had to wear fireMAN boots for rattlesnakes.

“A hard dick and a hot pussy have no conscience.”
 
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if you do not have time to do it right where are going to find time to redo it do not be the first to buy it but do not be the last
 
Gamedog said:
"You can put lipstick on a pig, but at the end if the day it's still a pig."

"You want attention?! I'll give you attention!"

"Better to be pissed off than pissed on."

"STAR! Stop. Think. Assess. Respond!"

"Improvise, adapt and overcome."

"I want to punch you in the face so bad right now!"

Jk about the last one lol
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My grandfather, uncle, cousin, and daughter are named Star. I’m stealing that one!
 
When someone would give me a hard time about somethin, Daddy would say "piss on um".

He also used to tell me "son, don't ever be a big wheel. A big wheel ain't nothin but for a dog to piss on."
 
RustyRatRod said:
When someone would give me a hard time about somethin, Daddy would say "piss on um".

He also used to tell me "son, don't ever be a big wheel. A big wheel ain't nothin but for a dog to piss on."
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^^^^lol , bigger target !!
 
Better to fart and bear the shame than hold it in and bear the pain
If you get knocked on your *** get up and get back at it. Crying wont buy you anything.
If you mess with the bull look out for the horns.
If you mess with the piglets be wary of the sow.
Wear long sleeve shirts and wide brimmed hats otherwise you will have leather for skin.
The grass ain’t greener somewhere else. You just aren’t watering yours.
 
Ben Drinkin said:
My brother said to his son the other day after the kid had done something incredibly dumb...
I should have pulled out..
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Kinda like this one: "there's no way, no way, that you could come from my loins. Soon as I get home the first thing I'm gonna do is punch your momma in the mouth."
 
After teaching me to ride my first motorcycle, a Harley 90cc at the age of 10. He turned and looked at me and said:

You never let anyone ride your motorcycle or your girlfriend!

I had no idea of what he meant at that time but we chuckle about it all the time now.

That and when I do something he does not agree with, he asks or states:

Your mother must have dropped you on your head!

He'd tell me sometimes:

Your mouth is writing checks you can't cash!
 
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Me "Dad, the gym teacher beat the ____ out of me. Look at all these black and blues from repeatedly smashing me against the lockers.
Dad "you probably deserved it"

If that happened Today ... we would 'own' that school.
 
70 Buster 340 said:
Me "Dad, the gym teacher beat the ____ out of me. Look at all these black and blues from repeatedly smashing me against the lockers.
Dad "you probably deserved it"

If that happened Today ... we would 'own' that school.
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That's funny...that is the first thing I ask when one of my kids comes complaining someone hit
"Did you have it coming?"
That usually ends the conversation right there
 
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