Things your Dad used to say.

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My dad would tell me:
God put half of us here to screw the other half, you better decide what half you want to be on.
 
A couple from my dad that I lost last December
When I was a kid and did something wrong I would run from him. He would always say you have to come home sometime.

As I grew a bit older he would say you don’t have to worry about the ones that run their mouth, it’s the quite ones you need to be careful of.

Don’t call me in the middle of the night if you wind up in jail. ( took him to heart on that one when I was 16 and waited to call until the morning.)
 
MileHighDart said:
Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.
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That’s one dad use to tell us. Another one that’s a fairly common one for him (normally when we poke him or jokingly challenge him) is “better watch it, next thing you know you won’t know anything” us boys have all picked that phrase up and say it to him a lot now. Lol
 
"You can put lipstick on a pig, but at the end if the day it's still a pig."

"You want attention?! I'll give you attention!"

"Better to be pissed off than pissed on."

"STAR! Stop. Think. Assess. Respond!"

"Improvise, adapt and overcome."

"I want to punch you in the face so bad right now!"

Jk about the last one lol
 
One I remember from when I was like six, I thoght it was so funny then. How true now. Son, life is a **** sandwich, doesn't matter how much bread you got, it's still a **** sandwich.
 
My dad cut trees for a living and weekends I would help him on jobs hauling brush and such.If he caught you slacking he would ask,whatya got,heart and *** disease(aint got the heart to get off your ***)......Oh and" it's what you learn after you know it all that counts"........
 
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“ life is 5 percent about what happens to you and 95 percent about what you do about what happens to you “
RIP on veterans day pop.
 
Nature loves numbers...especially big ones.

A bad estimate is better than a good guess.
 
From my grandfather.

Stand up for your dad at one time he stood up for you.
 
Well, no father growing up, met him when I was 16, he married a Go Go dancer and she did not care for a new person getting her husbands attention , my dad did not wear the pants in the home so.... My uncle said to me many times that pockets are made for your keys or change ! not your hands :thankyou: Unk
 
My mother really had more "sayings".
Like: "Don't bite off more than you can chew, gracefully".
Or : "Can't never could".
Or when I would not eat something: "You just don't know what's good".

My father had one though.
"If it doesn't matter what you believe, it doesn't matter whether you believe".
 
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Wow, this is a great thread! Reading this I am reminded of so many things dad use to say and still does to me each and every day. Im very fortunate to still have dad around and he's still as sharp as ever. I went to work for him at his garage for the first 15 years after high school before he retired and I moved on to a new career. When he would come in each morning the first thing he would say to me was "try not to f_ck anything up today"! Then he would laugh. Of course there was the "you can only put so much lipstick on a pig". We used to get a lot of truck drivers that would stop and ask for directions, they would say to him, "hey buddy" and before they could get out another word he would say "my name aint buddy" and if they didnt rephrase it they didnt get an answer! And how about the classic, "not while your livin in my house" or the "if you knew the answer why did you ask me". And as many others have said "about as worthless as tits on a borehog".
Yea, i"m glad he's still around and still saying the same things.
Thanks for the thread. So many good memories i'm reminded of as I read thru them all.
Rod
 
When something was worthless "It's like hand brakes on a buick"
If it came to carpentry skills and the cut wasn't exactly perfect "They"ll never see it from the plane"
"*** over tea kettle"
Suck it up buttercup and rub some dirt on it.
Military was "If it ain't raining, we ain't training" and "If it ain't snowing, we ain't going".
And still don't know what the heck "Holly catfish" is all about.
Let's do it for ***** and giggles
Cold as brass balls on a monkey
Cut it off twice and it's still to short
Colder than a well digger ***
If some one says well, He says "can't tell the depth of the well by the length of the handle"
Or if you say "that ain't no fair" He says "ain't no circus either"
My all time favorite "No blood, no foul"
 
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Great idea, for a thread Greg / Trailbeast.
The father was military minded , in my thoughts: He balanced commentary, very well.
He built a cage , for a newly adopted pet . It was functional ,but but *** ugly.. I called him out,on it . ( Yes kids do that..on fathers..:) )
He simply stated " If you can build a better one , do it . "
I shut my yaptrap...:)
 
Don't just stand there with your teeth in your mouth.

All motor and no driveshaft.

If you're looking for sympathy, it's between **** and syphilis in the dictionary.
 
1. You are alright son, now try it again (whatever I fell off trying to do)
2. It's broken. (an hour later he would have fixed it)
3. Don't lie
4. Don't steal
5. Treat elders with the respect they deserve
6. Don't fight, unless they bully you because of your glasses, then you can fight
7. If you commit to something, get it done
 
"if I catch you F@$#ing cussing I will slap the Sh*t out of you because its not very F&$#ing lady like"
 
These are some of the things my mothers father used to say. He was born 1910 had a hard life and didn't die until 1989 at 79. He was a good man and as I get older I realize how wise he was.
That guy is about as useful as a one legged man in an *** kicking contest.
I was born at night but not last night.
That is about as useful as tits on a boar.
I was boxed in like a turtle's pecker.
That guy was so tight with his money he was as tight as a frog's *** and that's water tight.
That guy is about as sharp as a bowling ball.
If you've never failed at anything you've never really tried.
We could all use a little more humility.
Don't do anything to anyone you wouldn't want done to you.
Your word is your bond.
 
Luckily my pops is still with me.
I don't remember all the $h!t he used to say, but there are a couple he always says:
1) When we are building something, and it isn't quite perfect "We ain't takin' it to the fair kid"
2) "crank it up kid" when he wants the tv or radio louder, or the heat on...etc
3) My personal favorite is "Give 'er the nuts kid!" That meant I was supposed to hit something harder, go faster, etc
I'm old enough for an AARP card...and he calls me kid :)
 
My Dad used to say if you dont want to help, then go in the house and help your Mom. Classic
 
Mine elected to retire in eastern Maine.
He always said: "IF you can't stand the winters, ya don't deserve the summers."
When we mouthed off as kids, he'd say: "Don't let your alligator mouth overload your canary ***."
 
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