Things your Dad used to say.

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Two come to mind, usually said when my brother and I were making a lot of noise tussling over something. "If you don't stop this **** I'll kick your *** up between your shoulder blades" and "god dammit what the hell is going on out here".

What's funny is that a few years ago a couple cats were fighting on my front porch. I opened the door and the first thing out of my mouth without thinking was "god dammit what the hell is going on out here" which brought a smile to my face and made me think "I'm turning into my father".
 
If I have to get off this couch to come get you...

then there was

Shut the f#+k up stupid!
 
Dad would tell me this when I messed up and tried to cover it up;
An excuse is just the skin of a reason, stuffed with a lie.
1-11-28 to 11-1-99, miss him.
 
"Boy, you've got a champagne taste and a beer budget!"

"A dog don't **** where it eats."

I could fill a book but these had to do with spending too much money on cars and doing burn outs in front of the house lol.
 
Mine was a Marine. Heard alot of the previous. But if me and my brother would be adding a speed part to our cars "you can only go 55 miles per hour."
While building my big ole Ford truck "why don't you just buy a tank?"
The first time I heard him really cuss was at some woman on tv talking **** about the president (Nixon?) "who gives a **** what that dumb cunt thinks. She's just a ***** that fucked her way to the top." Probably Jane Fonda.
 
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Just remembered another. He would often say someone or something was "as useless as tits on a bull".
 
My Dad never really had any sayings, but my grandfathers had a few...

Satan, get thee behind me...and push!

There are cars and there are Mopars. Cars go...Mopars go faster.

The key to happiness is figuring out what women want. When you do, let me know. I ain't yet.

There's nothing wrong with having a few cold beers...that your wife doesn't know about.

Take pride in what you do, no one else ever will.

Learn to make chicken salad out of the chicken sh*t life gives you....and grin while you pick your teeth with the chicken feathers.
 
Just remembered a couple more. After I joined the Navy
"Well, I'm proud of you. Don't **** it up." Like I said he was a Marine. That was pretty touchy feely for him.
Then there was "If yo ever go AWOL don't come here. I don't harbor criminals."
Yea I miss him......
 
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moparmandan said:
Just remembered a couple more. After I joined the Navy
"Well, I'm proud of you. Don't **** it up." Like I said he was a Marine. That was pretty touchy feely for him.
Then there was "If yo ever go AWAL don't come here. I don't harbor criminals."
Yea I miss him......
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Mine was a marine as well then like I said, a state prisons employee.
He always told me If the cops ask you a question it's because they don't already know the answer, so don't do their job for them.

Also this one.
If you ever decide to steal something make it something big enough where you only have to do it once.
 
Just before my Dad passed, on top of his other medical issues, he suffered a bad stroke early on Thanksgiving morning. The doc expected him to not make it through the rest of the day, but being stubborn as he was, he decided it wasn't time just yet.

A few days later, the doc came in and talked to us about the effects of his stroke. As he explained what it did to him physically and to his brain, he said that it would be best if when we talked to my Dad, we kept things simple and never ask anything more than simple "yes or no" questions. All through this, my Dad laid there and listened intently to what he was saying.

The doc left and I said to my Dad... "Looks like they don't want you thinking too hard".... Without missing a beat he said to me "Just as well, thinking gets you in trouble". His body was broken, but my Dad was still there.
 
Dad was a Tampa Police Officer for 26 years. The quote that sticks out is
" Just cause you were born dumb, don't mean you can't get smarter along the way"
 
Son, you best put your brain in gear before you run your mouth. I heard that for years. It took joining the Marines to cure me of my problem.
 
mine used to say if you don 't have time to do it right when do you think you will find time to do it over
 
It scared the bejeezus out of me
...more money than good sense
...it's not a boat (when working on a house, his standards were not as high)
...other than that Mrs, Lincoln, how was the play?
You are not sick! (to us kids)
 
My Dad was bald by the time he was in his 30's and always said "God only made a few perfect heads, the rest he put hair on." I miss him.
 
TomMoparMan said:
My Dad was bald by the time he was in his 30's and always said "God only made a few perfect heads, the rest he put hair on." I miss him.
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im not sure where i picked this one up, but someone once said (about going bald) that if God wanted to look down and see the top of his head, that was perfectly fine with them
 
Quit your belly aching.

Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.

Don’t make me pull over.

Surprised I can’t remember more. He’s been gone about 15 years now. Still miss the sound of his voice and his goofy grin.
 
A neighbor's dad: "If you don't cut that out, I'll knock you into next week!"
To which my then teenage neighbor replied, "that'll be o.k. , this one isnt' going so well".
 
One I'll always remember.............
You can put a suit on a monkey, but it's still a monkey.
 
If you were talking about someone famous my dad would say I know him, we went to different schools together.
Another of his lines was.... My mistake, your wrong.
 
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