What's Your Best Laxitive?

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Usually watching Joe Biden try to give any type of speech and sound coherent reminds me I have to run down the hall.
 
Same here. When I have to go it's now!
After taking pain meds for years my digestive system is messed up. So I put Gentle Lax in my prune juice every morning just so I can go.
 
Discovered years ago the laxative effects of “the woods” after loading up and heading out early with the kids and dirt bikes for some riding at various trails. Soon as we turn down the road leading to a trailhead the need to download NOW would come. Got to the point they’d ask every time we’d ride if I had to go now as we got closer to our riding areas. Living and working in rural areas means I’m never far from “feeding a tree” when the need to go arises. The woods are so much better than any nasty smelly public bathroom anyways. :thumbsup:
 
What RRR said in the first post used to happen to me when I smoked.

I'd go out to the garage, fire up a cig, and then get to work.

Just about the time my hands got real dirty, I'd feel nature's call.

I finally started to wonder if it was the cigarette.

Stopped smoking in 2005, and that problem went away.
 
What RRR said in the first post used to happen to me when I smoked.

I'd go out to the garage, fire up a cig, and then get to work.

Just about the time my hands got real dirty, I'd feel nature's call.

I finally started to wonder if it was the cigarette.

Stopped smoking in 2005, and that problem went away.
Yep smoking, coffee and alcohol all did it for me.
 
One of the most terrifying things is the thought that as an adult "I might just **** my pants"! NOT a good feeling lol.
Caffeine and nicotine is a sure kickstarter
Squat height garbage can....for a reason lol:eek:

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The best laxitive???

Cross your legs and clench your @sshole real tight until the pressure backs off....
 
Everything will be fine. Lemmie go out in the shop to work on the car, or a project.....whatever....just "out in the shop" and BAM. I gotta ****. And I don't mean just a "mild" urge. I'm talkin bout fixin to **** all over myself unless I get to the bathroom. Don't get in my way, bitches. THAT kinda urge. It's really weird, but I've always been like that. Once that comes and goes, I'm out there for hours. All is well with the world. But I've gotten to where I just prepare myself and without fail, every time, **** happens.


In case you loose the race, here's a chart to rate the skid marks.... See if you can get to the 'unsolved crime'....


Skid Marks.jpg
 
Yeah, you read that right. lol I'm just curious of any of the rest of yall are like me. Not that I need a laxitive at all.....never had trouble "THERE", but here's my story. I've been like this literally as long as I can remember.

Everything will be fine. Lemmie go out in the shop to work on the car, or a project.....whatever....just "out in the shop" and BAM. I gotta ****. And I don't mean just a "mild" urge. I'm talkin bout fixin to **** all over myself unless I get to the bathroom. Don't get in my way, bitches. THAT kinda urge. It's really weird, but I've always been like that. Once that comes and goes, I'm out there for hours. All is well with the world. But I've gotten to where I just prepare myself and without fail, every time, **** happens.

This has happened to me more than once, my problem is my shop is three miles away from my home and a bathroom.
 
I'm actually immune to poison ivy. I ate it when I was a kid. Been immune to it ever since. Never had it or any of the rest of it.
I’ve been told that by a few people but to scared to try it. One old lady told me her Indian grandmother told her, she did as a child and it worked never got it again. Her husband got it bad every year, he ate a leaf and NEVER had it since.
 
You sound like the wife on that (says it goes right thru her) no, it takes a long time for food to go thru 22 ft of small intestine plus 4 ft of big intestine. Those Numbers might very. I’ll check again
Internet said 20 ft for small and 5 for large, I was close. What you **** is from 2-3 days ago. Under normal conditions
How come when you eat corn it's in your stool the next day? Inquiring minds need to know.
 
Yeah, you read that right. lol I'm just curious of any of the rest of yall are like me. Not that I need a laxitive at all.....never had trouble "THERE", but here's my story. I've been like this literally as long as I can remember.

Everything will be fine. Lemmie go out in the shop to work on the car, or a project.....whatever....just "out in the shop" and BAM. I gotta ****. And I don't mean just a "mild" urge. I'm talkin bout fixin to **** all over myself unless I get to the bathroom. Don't get in my way, bitches. THAT kinda urge. It's really weird, but I've always been like that. Once that comes and goes, I'm out there for hours. All is well with the world. But I've gotten to where I just prepare myself and without fail, every time, **** happens.

Rod, I feel your pain! My Dad had this and I seem to have gotten that (stained) jean! I have found I'm uber lactose intolerant but only sometimes if that makes sense. Straight hamburger, no prob but add cheese and I'm off to the races. Try a lactaid chewable before your next trigger meal and see if it helps. I'm not sure if its just lactose in general because ill have Del Taco or Chipotle (mild spice?) and I better be home eating it or at the restaurant because if I eat it on the road, Ill end up pulling over... restroom available or not! Not cool when your at a customers house and Bob Barker comes banging at the back door hard! We used to love eating at Souplantation when it was still open and I loved the clam chowder and the soft serve desert served over their warm cobbler, Mmmmm! But both were made with dairy and I wouldn't last the sitting without having to 'sit' somewhere else for a spell. Coffee seems to do it too as well but in a more mild case.
 
McDonalds or anything greasy will do it to me every time.
I might as well eat it on the toilet, I'll end up being there in a minute or so anyway, and you will have dibs........
Just imagine the space shuttle taking off the launch pad and that's your visual.

I can't remember how many pairs of shorts I've thrown away over the years because there was no saving them.

These days, I avoid all of the junk food and Immodium is my best friend.

Other than that, I'm shitting through an eye of a needle..........
 
.........go out in the shop to work on the car ........

When I go out to the shop to work on my Duster (and find yet another major previous owners hack) I wanna **** too...
Then I say "****"..
then I call the car "a piece of ****'
Then when I walk away and my wife asks for a favor like .... 'can you fix the screen door, it still slams or 'can you clean all your **** off the kitchen table''
Then I give her a bunch of **** for bugging me at such an opportune time.
Then the **** hits the fan.

Then .. the screen door slams and now know she left"

"****, she was going to cook... now what am I going to eat?

Same old ****.
 
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