Stop in for a cup of coffee

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halifaxhops said:
Dam wife is pinging, goin to that wake in NY. so it goes from taking Amtrack up for two or three days, to just overnight, then as of this AM just a there and back. Daughter will drive her and she is pissed at the daughter not staying a few days. WTF she is helping mom out and has to work tomorrow. I am in the crapper, saying take the train, everyone is within walking distance. "But I will need a car" WTF not like your going to do anything at all today but there and back. I am going to hide now. Wish me luck.
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Trip and fall and fake an injury to get out of it....
 
A Spanish magician said he could make a hamster disappear on the count of 3.

He yelled "UNO" "DOS" and the hamster disappeared without a tres!
 
I'm getting a new car. You know what kind of car I'm getting? I'm getting a Honda Civic because those are very safe cars. And I know 'cause I saw a guy total one the other day when I ran him off the road.
 
A guy asks the prostitute, "you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" She says, "Yeah, it hurts like hell..."
 
A policeman on his horse asks a little girl on her bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," the girl replies.
"Well, tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year," and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the policeman and says, "Nice horse you've got there. Did Santa bring you that too?"
The policeman chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year, tell Santa the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it."
 
Man was packing his things getting ready to leave. His wife yelled "I wish you a long and painful death." Man turned and replied, "now you want me to stay."
 
For sale:
20th century French army rifles. Used in combat, never fired, but dropped twice.
 
A little more done on Firebird. Trans pan gasket replaced. Filter too. Gas tank getting painted. He wants it painted, so he paints it. Good. Will be ready to go in friday.
 
krazykuda said:
A policeman on his horse asks a little girl on her bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," the girl replies.
"Well, tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year," and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the policeman and says, "Nice horse you've got there. Did Santa bring you that too?"
The policeman chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year, tell Santa the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it."
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:rofl::rofl:
 
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