Feeling about suicide

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Bigdummy

Bigdummy

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If they liked u or their family they would be here,so why care anymore about them?They didn't care about nothin or else they would be here,,,,Kinda like if you came home to a mt house and empty bank account with bills up the wazoo you never known about...People still want them back:violent1:

That is all I just know another guy who wacked himself that's all!!
 
Bigdummy said:
If they liked u or their family they would be here,so why care anymore about them?They didn't care about nothin or else they would be here,,,,Kinda like if you came home to a mt house and empty bank account with bills up the wazoo you never known about...People still want them back:violent1:

That is all I just know another guy who wacked himself that's all!!
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I don't think its necessarily an issue of them not caring about friends/family.
 
First, my condolences for your loss.

IMO, It is the most incredibly selfish act a human being can do.
 
Thanks .They guy was going to be a celebrity also.He didn't have any enemy's.Screwed his family.Can't collect life insurance!
 
In many instances it's a rash decision made under an intense cloud of depression. After you anger subsides, you might feel differently about him.
I lost a good friend to suicide and couldn't get my head around it until one of the people who eulogized him spoke of the severe depression he battled on a regular basis. From that point on I understood where the action came from. The brain is one of the least understood parts of the body and mental illness still carries significant stigma.
 
I'm really sorry I went through the same with my grandpa a few months ago and my friend just last year. My friend Bud was the coolest guy ever and you would never think he could do it. Found out from his mom that his wife had been telling him she was taking his kids and he would never see them again. I was really mad at first but now I'm just sad about it all. Its never the right thing to do but you might not ever know what was going on in his head. My grandpa left a note that he didn't want to end up in a home and was tiered of being a burden on his wife. They all have their own reasons, depression is one heck of a battle and some of us can't handle it. I'll pray for you and the family.
 
I have had 2 brother in laws commit suicide and a daughter and grand-son attempt it. All had or have some form of mental disorder. I will not pass judgement on any of them as that would be very arrogant on my part. There is an old saying that goes something like this, "Walk a mile in my shoes". Until you have been through what the person has to deal with everyday, you don't have the right to to pass judgement on them.
I join you in your sorrow as that person can never be replaced and will be missed by those that knew and loved him.

Jack
 
As Jack put it I will not pass judgement on any of them as that would be very arrogant on my part. There is an old saying that goes something like this, "Walk a mile in my shoes". Until you have been through what the person has to deal with everyday, you don't have the right to to pass judgement on them.
Prayers go out to all the family and friends that are dealing with there loss
and one for you Bigdummy, this is something I have never had to deal with or experienced

Jack, Thank you for these well put words of wisdom I used in my post
 
Sorry for your loss, on that same coin, suicide is the most selfish act you can accomplish. Not really a good thing.
 
Sorry for your loss. As a Mental Health professional, I can accurately say that if a person wants help, help is readily available.

It's the people left behind who hurt the most....As in one of the examples above, the guy will never see his kids again - at his own doing - ironic.
 
Sorry for your loss man. Someone once told me, "suicide's a permanent solution to a temporary problem". Nobody wins.

Pat
 
bigdummy, I read this thread earlier today and frankly it took me a couple beers until I felt comfortable responding. The issue with the people you know commiting suicide isn't about you, their friends or their family. It's about them. I have spent my life battling depression. It's not a matter of "just get over it". It's not a matter of "just be a man about it" (my dad's famous words). I'm lucky, though I have thought about suicide and a few timew formulated a plan I have never tried to carry anything out. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's taken me years to understand that. I have also had friends who have taken their own lives. It sucks, to say the least. Rather than condemn your friend, please try to consider the anguish this man was going through. Whether you understand it or not, the man was in anguish. All the friends and family in the world cannot break through mental illness. Please rethink how you feel about your friend.
 
afbill said:
bigdummy, I read this thread earlier today and frankly it took me a couple beers until I felt comfortable responding. The issue with the people you know commiting suicide isn't about you, their friends or their family. It's about them. I have spent my life battling depression. It's not a matter of "just get over it". It's not a matter of "just be a man about it" (my dad's famous words). I'm lucky, though I have thought about suicide and a few timew formulated a plan I have never tried to carry anything out. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's taken me years to understand that. I have also had friends who have taken their own lives. It sucks, to say the least. Rather than condemn your friend, please try to consider the anguish this man was going through. Whether you understand it or not, the man was in anguish. All the friends and family in the world cannot break through mental illness. Please rethink how you feel about your friend.
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wrjjol.jpg
 
Ok, I guess I'm not done yet. Mental illness is a screw up of brain chemistry. It's not a matter of choice. It's no different than cancer or any other illness. The difference is the general public thinks you can "think" or "feel" mental illness away. Yes, there is cognitave therapy that works to an extent. Basically, you feel what you think. I am a big beliver in it. It does work..........as long as your brain allows you to think properly. Cognitive therapy DOES NOT help true mental illness. I have the best two friends in the world. My mom and dad love me to no end. When depression hits you, none of that matters. It's not a selfish thing. It doesn't make sense and that only makes matters worse. I know it doesn't make sense but it doesn't matter. That only aggrevates matters. It's maddening.....duh. The things that normally bring you pleasure bring nothing. I wish I had an answer for it. I don't. Nor does anyone else. Depression is a screwy thing. Those that love you tell you that they love you and it doesn't matter. I can't stress this enough bigdummy, please don't deny your friend the love and memory he deserves just because you don't understand why he did what he did. I hope you can find peace with what has happened in your life, it's the only way to continue. Ok, I'm done preaching.
 
Bigdummy, you being pissed at your friend is normal. It's ok. It's part of the greiving process. PM me if you want to vent.
 
afbill said:
Ok, I guess I'm not done yet. Mental illness is a screw up of brain chemistry. It's not a matter of choice. It's no different than cancer or any other illness. The difference is the general public thinks you can "think" or "feel" mental illness away. Yes, there is cognitave therapy that works to an extent. Basically, you feel what you think. I am a big beliver in it. It does work..........as long as your brain allows you to think properly. Cognitive therapy DOES NOT help true mental illness. I have the best two friends in the world. My mom and dad love me to no end. When depression hits you, none of that matters. It's not a selfish thing. It doesn't make sense and that only makes matters worse. I know it doesn't make sense but it doesn't matter. That only aggrevates matters. It's maddening.....duh. The things that normally bring you pleasure bring nothing. I wish I had an answer for it. I don't. Nor does anyone else. Depression is a screwy thing. Those that love you tell you that they love you and it doesn't matter. I can't stress this enough bigdummy, please don't deny your friend the love and memory he deserves just because you don't understand why he did what he did. I hope you can find peace with what has happened in your life, it's the only way to continue. Ok, I'm done preaching.
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Been there done this. For me it was evidently a chemical change in my body. I have never suffered any sort of mental trauma that should have caused my troubles. Damn near killed me, or rather, the medical community might have. They had me so effed up on pills I didn't know what was up. Notable points:

Before things got real dark, I was seeing a shrink, the pisshead, I was still working, and had just got done putting in a very long week. He told me to "find something to keep busy." I told HIM to follow me around for a week and then tell me that. He didn't get it. I actually had to explain it to him.

I was having some REAL interesting stress symptoms.

I would drive somewhere, someone would "cut in" a little too close, and it would feel like a great big giant clamp was around my kidneys.

My ears would feel like they were moving like a dog

I would get yawn triggers, and could yawn 15-20 times and it would still be there

My forehead would feel like I was burning up, sweating, and it could be as cool as could be.

The hair on my neck would prickle as if I were in danger, my jaws would hurt

I could HEAR my heartbeat in my head, and my blood pressure (then) was fine.

Just reasonably loud noise, even music, would drive me into a tizzy.

I could list this **** for an hour. STRESS

For some time I could not sleep (still can't I just "stay up" till I drop. So they put me on sleeping pills. Nobody bothered to tell me that they cause hallucinations, and I dreamed nightmares over and over again that I was flying, then falling.

Made me dizzy sometimes when awake. I fell of my front porch and twisted my ankle badly right as I was supposed to go back to work on limited duty. The guy I was seeing thought I was faking "you aren't ready to go back, are you?"

I blame the meds for my car crash. I don't remember, "I wasn't there." sideswiped a great big 18 wheeler in the opposite direction, drove an 87 Ranger into the rear duals and knocked the axle out from under the trailer. I remember none of it. I still have pain, along with my arthritis, with my legs, knees, and wrists. I have a pin from my ankle to my knee, and screws in my ankle. This was over 10 years ago.

All this became a gigantic snowball going downhill, pun intended. I became anxious, and still take light meds for anxiety to this day.

Most of this has "gone away." Only thing my current doc can come up with is

My body chemistry has changed again, some,

and of course I don't have the stress I used to have

last, there is some evidence that I suffered a tiny brain ebolism. Nobody knows for sure. I've had several brain scans. Inconclusive

At the depths of this, I was severely depressed, mostly non functional, paranoid, and anxious. Yep. I thought about "it."


The bottom line is...................


You cannot wish, dream, will, or "make" this stuff go away. No amount of "happy pills" helps, anymore than you can get rid of a cold or the flu. IT IS REAL.
 
Been there, darkest moment of my life was also ironically the calmest. Life was falling apart and the only prospect was the hole was going to deeper. Was sitting on the throne of the second bathroom in my old house with a loaded 357 in my mouth and pulled the trigger. Obviously it did not discharge. The actual act of pulling the trigger was very easy for me. As others have said mental illness is a very real disease. As well as being bi-polar, mixed severe with psychotic tendencies, paranoia issues, persecuatory ideation and a few other things I can testify to it being real. Any one that says it is the cowards way etc I have a question.....who are you to judge anybody? Have you spent a lifetime walking in the shoes of someone whose brain is miswired? Who does not process things the way a healthy brain does? If not, then again I ask who are to judge?
I would be lying if I said the thought of suicide does not regularly roll thru my head. With the recent problem with my wife the thoughts are there. I was sitting at the kitchen table the other night, after getting home from a bike ride with my ccw sitting on the table. I did pick it up and remove it from the holster.
Before anyone says well perhaps my meds need to be adjusted I will say that I am one of the many bi-polar folks that do not do well on the meds. If anything they make things a bit worse. It takes a cocktail of meds to treat most mental illnesses. And I have never found a cocktail that helps. The only thing that does me any good is what I started taking today.....again.
Anyway, for the mentally disturbed often the bottom of the barrel is far from a low point.
Speaking for myself here. Other than my wife I have no family. I do have a sister but due to the history we have we have not spoke in 11 years and will never speak again. So Ernie is it. With the recent rough patch we have had I question whether she really wants to be here anymore, thanks to having documented paranoia issues. But because of the kind of person she is she will never leave me because of the way she feels about marriage. Beyond that I know that she does indeed love me, in her own way. That being said, if I were to commit suicide it would free her of her commitment to me, allowing her to move on with out breaking her marriage vows. And truth of the matter most of the time I do not think very much of myself. So sure she would be hurt at first. But once the mourning stage was over she would move on......Would anybody here honestly even care?
 
at least he did it right he"s gone we cant always read people knowmatter who good we now them I lost my best car building friend 4 years ago it took half my energy away and the other 1/2 I could give a **** less some days .I never saw it , but it mat have been a seizer I don't know I thought about it 3 years after I broke my back . I just try to treat people better now and be glad what I do have look up your still here to take care of ,mabee he took the easy way out but I don't know his situation sorry to hear
 
afbill said:
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
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This is very far form the truth for some of us. Mental health troubles are permanent. Some of us there is no solution other than learning to cope with it the best you can. Which leads to day in and day out despair. I read in another post about how ones suicide hurts the others in there family. While this is true they will move on. The other side of the coin is the person that commits suicide very well might be living an absolutely horrible existence. And is it fair to this person to be absolutely miserable just to here for other folks to feel good about this lost troubled soul being here. Now who is being selfish? There is not a single person here who has not lost a loved one. And out of all these folks that have experienced a loss there is also not a single one of them that moved on with there life. Just a simple fact of life.

Reality can be an evil thing. And the reality for some folks is that living is extremely painful. And while love, and having people in your life does help ease this pain it often time is no where near enough to make one forget about how absolutely miserable there life is.

Thing a lot folks don't seem to understand is that mentally ill folks do not process things in the same manner as a healthy individual. And this miswired brain changes the way we look at things.....
 
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